A CONTRACT ENGAGEMENT

She turned abruptly away, terrified he’d read the naked lust in her eyes. She took a long drink from her water bottle then, blowing her fringe skywards and trying to keep her voice normal, determined not to make a fool of herself again, to be absolutely sure she wasn’t misreading things, she said, “You should try meditating if you want to be relaxed.”

“It wouldn’t work,” Julian dismissed.

“It won’t if that’s your attitude…” She could feel the atmosphere sizzling between them, knew that if she said what was on her mind then she’d be crossing a line, playing the most dangerous of dangerous games. “Try it,” she breathed, her eyes daring him to join her. “Why don’t you lie back and try it now?”

“Now?” Julian checked, a dangerous warning glint in his eyes, which she heeded, but it only excited her more.

“Now,” Nina affirmed. “Just lie back.”

“Then what?” Julian’s impatient voice demanded instruction as, impossibly tense, he lay back.

“You close your eyes and just breathe,” she said, her head turning to face him, her own breath catching in her throat as she gazed at his strong profile.

He was astonishingly beautiful-his eyes were closed and black, surprisingly long lashes spiked downwards onto indigo smudges of exhaustion. His nose was chiseled straight, so straight and so absolutely in proportion to the rest of his features she could almost imagine some cosmetic surgeon downing his tools in protest as he surveyed the landscape of his flawless face.

Flawless.

A perfectionist might point out that he hadn’t shaved, but the stubble that ghosted his strong jaw, merely accentuated things: a shiver of masculinity stirring beneath the surface. His full mouth was the only softening feature, but even that was set in grim tension as he lay there.

“You have to relax,” Nina said, her words a contradiction because her whole body lay rigid beside him, her own breath coming in short, irregular bursts. Even her words were stilted, coming in short breathy sentences as they struggled through her vocal cords. “Use your stomach muscles and breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth.”

“What?” he asked. One of his eyes peeped open.

“Abdominal breathing,” Nina explained, but from the two vertical lines appearing over the bridge of his nose Nina knew she was talking to the hopelessly unconverted.

“You don’t move your chest,” she explained. “Haven’t you ever watched a baby sleep?”

The frown faded a touch, a small smile lifting one edge of his mouth. “Not really. I mean, I know I stayed with Abby sometimes when she was a baby, but I was four then and I don’t remember much. And I’m not sure I ever watched her sleep”

“Babies know how to relax,” Nina said. “They instinctively know how to breathe properly.”

“Like this?” Julian asked, dragging in air, and Nina watched as he struggled with the concept. His stomach was moving but so too was his chest.

“Almost. Look, I’ll help you. Just push against my hand.” She said, Sitting up slightly, she instinctively moved to correct him, but her movements were hesitant, her hand tentative as it reached out towards him, hovered over the flat plane of his stomach, knowing, knowing where this could lead, wanting to pull back, to end this dangerous game, but curiously excited to start, to touch him, to feel him…

Her hand still hovered over his stomach but it was just too much, too intimate, and instead she placed her other hand on his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin through his shirt, feeling the breath still in him. Her fingers ached, literally ached to move his loosened tie, to creep between the buttons and feel his skin against hers. But she pushed away that thought, concentrated instead on keeping her voice even as she delivered her instructions.

“My hand shouldn’t move. Breathe in through your nose, using your stomach, and then out through your mouth- here.”

It seemed more appropriate now to touch his stomach than when the initial contact had been made, and she gently brushed her hand along on his stomach, felt the heavy leather of his belt, the coolness of his buckle and the silk of his trousers. Her whole body rippled with lust-and she herself had engineered it because she wanted to be closer to him. More than that she didn’t know, just knew she couldn’t take a minute more of the crazy feelings that were going on. “Push against my hand,” Nina said, “and then hold your breath before letting out it… And just let your mind wander.”Property of Nô)(velDr(a)ma.Org.

For a second, two perhaps, he did. She felt him relax a touch beneath her, but it was fleeting, resistance rushing back in, his hand pushing hers away, Julian turning now to face her.

“Show me,” he said.

“I don’t want to.” Nina shook her head, knew she was incapable of going back to that tranquil place with Julian so close, but he was insistent.

“If it’s so easy to do, prove it.” he replied.

Lying on her back Nina closed her eyes, willed herself calm, trying to force herself to relax. But she could feel the tension in her hands and she drew on her reserves, dragged in the fragrant air, holding it, holding it and slowly letting it out, could feel his eyes watching her body move. And amazingly it happened.

Somehow she did wander to that place she visited so often, but it was a different journey altogether, one she had never taken before. With every breath she sank deeper and yet her desire grew, visualizing, willing his hands to touch her, for him to rest his palm on her stomach, fleeting, decadent thoughts that were hers only, her limbs heavy against the damp grass, the erotic thought of him near her stomach tightening with the anticipation of a touch that might never come.

His breath on her face caught her unawares. Her mind hadn’t ever been so attuned to her body. She had been so sure his eyes had been there, the shiver of his breath on her cheeks was a shock, but even as her mind processed the sensation it was experiencing another one-his mouth, pressing lightly on hers, so soft if it hadn’t have been him it would surely have been imperceptible, could almost have been put down to imagination for nowhere else did he touch her.