A Werewolf, A Vampire, and A Fae Walk Into A Bar (Book 1 of The Last Witch Series)

I stare into Karl's familiar face, snow sticking to his ever-present stubble. His large hazel eyes are full of fear and confusion. The fear I understand because he should know he's about to die; the confusion doesn't make sense, because there should be no question as to

why he's about to die.

"Karl..." I let the word hang, carrying all the weight of a full sentence.

"Bernie..." Karl responds in kind, and I listen closely to his tone, hoping it will explain his inexplicable behavior.

It doesn't.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

Darius, lacking the patience to read the man's facial expression, slams him against the bar, holding his face down on the copper surface.

"Who are you?" Darius snarls, his sharp teeth centimeters from Karl's pulsing jugular vein. "Who sent you for the child?"

Karl keeps his eyes trained on me, ignoring the vampire's questions.

"Bernie, you know me."

"I thought I did," I snap back. It seems like he's got some point to make, something to say in his defense, but he's not getting there fast enough.

"These guys, they aren't what they seem." If Karl thought that generic understatement was going to win any points, he's sorely mistaken.

"Neither are you!" My yell startles Rain and makes her cry, but AJ is at my side immediately with a blanket. In a surprisingly swift motion, I wrap the baby, pop out a boob, begin to feed and then return my fiery stare to Karl. I strut toward the bar, feeling incredibly emboldened with these three powerful men backing me up.

"Have you been plotting this? Pretending to be passed out in my bar so you'd know when the baby came?"

Of course, the answer will be no. Karl's too much of a deadbeat drunk to formulate a plan and then carry it-- "Yes."

The word doesn't come from Karl's mouth, but rather from Rune's. The two look at each other, reading one another's faces and movements, before Karl looks back at me. His silence confirms the fae's assessment.

"You don't understand, Bernie."

Another cliche one-liner, but he's not wrong. In a day where every single thing has been strange and stupefying, this is somehow the most unexpected event so far. A regular at the family bar for years, a guy who could never manage to drive himself home at the end of the night, a person everyone in town knows, stole my baby. From my window, on the second floor, in the dark, in a blizzard.

"I'm trying to help you," Karl says earnestly. "We're trying to save your baby."

"Who," Darius asks, stepping menacingly close to Karl's face, "is we?"

Zev circles around the captive man, sniffing. Rune grabs Karl by the wrist, inspecting his hand. I'm not sure what answers they're looking for, but they're looking intently.

Suddenly, Zev growls. At first I think something about Karl has angered him, but then I see his wolf eyes have moved to the front door. I follow his look and seconds later, the doorknob starts to turn. Jesus, who's here to steal my baby now?

The door opens about an inch, then slams shut and locks itself. As my frazzled brain tries to remember if the bar door has always made its own decisions, I see the vampire's hand extended in that direction and realize he did the closing and locking. It'll take a while for me to get used to all the magic.

AJ moves quietly to a window at the front of the bar and peeks out. "It's Joe and Frank," she says, then adds with a smile, "they brought flashlights so you can't make them leave when the candles burn out."

"Don't let them in," Darius says. "There are too many bodies in here as it is."

He makes a good point, but sending these guys home almost guarantees they'll come back fifteen minutes later with Frank's wife to check up on me. And if she shows up and starts talking, I doubt the most powerful magic in the universe could get her to stop. "They won't go without a fight," I explain.

"Bernie?!" A voice comes from outside, right on cue. "You okay in there? It's Joe and Frank, we brought some baby toys, pacifiers and shit."

Sweet, stupid, drunk old men.

When I look back to Darius, he's gone. As is Karl. And yet I still hear his voice as if he's inches away.

"Where can I take this intruder?" the invisible Darius asks.

"Wait," I interrupt, too confused to let this go. "Where are you?"

"He's right where you last saw him."

Rune places his hand gently on my shoulder as he speaks, washing that wave of calm over me. God, I need him touching me always.

"I've created an illusion along the back of the bar. Darius, gag him now while we let these people in." Rune looks at me with a sweetness in his eyes, and I'm truly starting to feel he's on my side. "We'll run business as usual, if that's what you think is best. Though, may I suggest closing early so you can get some rest?"

"I'll be back in a moment," the invisible Darius says. "I'm going to stitch this cretin to the ceiling upstairs."

I don't really know what that means, but I'm also sure he isn't lying.

"Bern?!" Joe calls again from outside. It would never cross his mind that the bar might be closed, especially because my grandparents had the place open every day except Christmas.

Rune takes a seat at the bar, assuming the role of a customer, I guess. AJ comes over and takes the now-sleeping Rain, who fell asleep while feeding because she's just so goddamn cute. I walk over to the door, a little jealous I can't just unlock it from thirty feet away like Darius.

I open up and present Joe and Frank with a big, fake smile, even as a gust of cold nearly knocks me on my ass.

"Hey, guys! Sorry, the wind blew the door open earlier so I locked it. Come on in!"

I turn away to lead them inside, but don't hear footsteps behind me. When I look back, they're still frozen in place, staring at the far end of the bar. I follow their eye line and quickly realize the hesitation.

"Oh yeah, that. Ummm... I got a dog."

I wish I'd had a conversation with Zev about how to explain his presence, but it's too late for that. Now I'm a dog owner. When people come to my bar, I have a husky the size of a small horse. What a great way to drum up business. "Where... where'd you get it?" asks Frank, looking legitimately afraid to step foot in the bar. "Cuz that ain't no dog. That's a wolf."

"Maybe it has some mix in it, but he's totally tame," I say, as Zev looks up at me and growls under his breath. I want to kick him as a reminder to watch his manners, but that would definitely look bad. "As to where I got him, it's a long story, Frank. Now, get your ass inside so I can close the door, and I'll tell you once you've had a beer and loosened up."

They do as they're told, giving me a few seconds to start thinking of a husky-the-size-of-a-huge-wolf buying story that can't be verified. Fortunately, by the time they reach the bar, they see AJ and what she's holding. Joe spins back toward me. "Whoa! Bern! Holy shit! Your baby!"

Holy shit indeed. It's like every time someone notices Rain, I remember that I'm a brand new mother who should be asleep constantly. "Yeah, that's baby Rain," I say, walking back behind the bar to get her from AJ. "She arrived last night with the help of this guy. Rune."