Arranged Bratva Love

Lottie

It was late and I couldn’t sleep.

The meal had gone better than I imagined. I also didn’t mind sitting across from my husband. I’d been able to steal glances at him. I’d not seen him for a little over a month, and I think I’d forgotten what he looked like.

I liked his eyes. They were blue, quite a bright, beautiful, intense kind of blue. I couldn’t help but be somewhat drawn to them. Were they the color of the ocean? I’d never seen the ocean, so I didn’t quite know what it looked like. I’d seen pictures and movies, but not in real life.

He’d eaten my food and enjoyed it. I loved that. Ive wasn’t one for compliments, but he’d told me it was good, so I was taking it.

Why couldn’t I sleep? I’d done my usual exploring in the morning, and then worked up a bit of a sweat in the kitchen. Ivanhad also arrived, which in itself was stressful, even if he didn’t scare me. I knew I should be afraid. Either way, I couldn’t sleep. Maybe some warm milk, or some water, or maybe even a hot chocolate would do the trick.

Climbing out of bed, I leavethe bedroom, being careful with my steps. I don’t know how Ivan and Ive would react to someone sneaking around the house. The last thing I wanted to do was get shot at while attempting to fall asleep.

No one stops me or shoots me on my way to the kitchen, and stepping inside, I see it is spotless. I go straight to the fridge and see some milk already open. Taking out the carton, I find a cup, fill it with milk, and then place it in the microwave. Each noise I make sounds incredibly loud and I don’t mean to be. Using the microwave means less dishes. I only have to worry about my mug, no saucepan or spoon.

I’ve never been one for hot chocolate, and as I rummage through the cupboards, I find a small package labeled”Hot Chocolate.” Looking over the packet, I wrinkle my nose as it looked gross. Opening the top of the lid, I take a sniff. It smelled okay, but I wasn’t a big chocolate lover. Putting the box away, I grabbed the vanilla and some sugar.

The microwave beeped, and I dived for it, quickly opening the door. Why was it so loud?

My milk was hot. I inserted a spoon, gave it a stir, attempting not to hit the side of the cup. Adding a couple of teaspoons of sugar and a dash of vanilla, I picked up my mug and left the kitchen, making sure to put everything awaybehind me.

I don’t go straight to my bedroom. Instead, I take a quick detour. My husband’s office doorwas completely closed, and there didn’t appear to be any light inside. I wonder if they finished their business. I wasn’t curious about their business. The less I knew, the better.

Moving past the library and the movie theater, I instead went to the game room. Hubert had taught me how to turn the room on, and I found the main power switch, lightingit up. This was kind of a bad idea as I was sure it made a big noise. Most of the games were on mute, but there was still a start-up sound. I waited several minutes for the sound of footsteps and threats. Nothing happened.

Taking a sip of my now warm sweet-vanilla milk, I look around. The games looked like a lot of fun. Reaching over, I lifted the triangle thing that contained the balls on the pool table and then touched one of the balls. They’re heavy. This surprised me. I’ve never played pool before in my life. Never touched one of the balls.

My father’s gameroom back at the clubhouse was off limits to me. I wasn’t allowed inside. Cassie got to go inside, not me. I wasn’t allowed to have fun.

Putting the ball downand placing the triangle thingy back in place, I stepped around the room and looked at the different arcade games. I’d never been to an arcade before. Reaching out, I hover over the start button on one game.

“Couldn’t sleep?”

I turn, nearly spilling mywarm milk in the process. Ivan stood in the doorway. He wore a pair of sweatpants and a large t-shirt.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“I wasn’t asleep.” He waved a hand in the air. “What takes your fancy?”

“What takes my fancy?” I asked, repeating his words.

“What game would you like to play?”

“Oh, er, I, er, I…” Had no idea what to say. He looked at me expectantly. What was I supposed to do or say?

Ivan stared at me. He did this a lot. Ever since they’d kidnapped me, Ivan would come see meand stare at me. I was pretty sure he was assessing me, trying to figure out what to do with me, but I could be wrong. I had no idea what he thought about.

“You don’t know how to play, do you?” Ivan asked.

“I know how to play,” I mumbled the words so it didn’t sound like a complete lie.

“Then pick a game and we’ll compete.”

I looked around the room and nibbled my lip. “I’m feeling very tired. I think I should go to bed.”

“He didn’t allow you to play, did he? Your father, I mean. You weren’t allowed to have fun and I’ve got a feeling if you even showed any signs of fun, he’d beat you.”

I stared at Ivan. What the fuck was I supposed to say? I felt frozen. “It’s not a bad thing not knowing how to play games.”

“You’ve never had a real chance at being a kid,” Ivan said.

Staring at Ivan, I didn’t like how accurate he was when he talked about my past. I was not someone to be pitied. “Neither did you,” I said.

“Very true but the difference is, as I got older and I took back whatwas taken from me, I learned how to play.” He moved toward the pool table. “With pool there are obviously ways of playing and doing the right moves, but while we’re just getting used to this, I think it makes sense for us to simply enjoy hitting the balls.” He picked up one of the sticks, moved the triangle off the balls, and then took aim and shot at the balls. They went everywhere. I expected them to come flying off the table but they didn’t. They hit the sides, some of them going down the holes. “Ah, now that is satisfying.” He held out the stick to me. “Would you like a chance?”

I reached out but then hesitated.

“You don’t get to have fun. You don’t get to play. You’re nothing. Trash is nothing. You’re fucking nothing.”

“He’s dead, Charlotte. He’s notgoing to come and take this from you. You can have fun. I won’t allow, nor will your husband allow anyone to stop you having fun.”

My hand shook as I took the stick from him. I kept expecting the pain to radiate through my body, but it didn’t. There was no pain.

Ivan took the cup from my hand and then I turned to the table.

“What do I do?” I asked, hating the slight quiver I heard inmy voice. This wasn’t fair.

“Eye a ball, take aim, and shoot. We’re not playing an actual game of pool tonight. Youcan just aim at the balls.”

I stared at the balls and then leaned forward with the stick in hand, copying what I saw Ivan do, and what I’dseen on television. Taking aim and hitting a ball was hard. I missed three times, and then finally hit a ball.

Ivan took the stick from me and sunk a ball. Then it was my turn again. We worked our way around the table. Ivan sunk every single ball and I just hit them. Some I managed to do with a little more force than others. It was a lot of fun.

I expected us to go to bed after that, but Ivan must have had trouble sleeping as I did.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.

We moved onto the air hockey. Nowwith this game, my heart raced and I couldn’t help but laugh as Ivan shot the hockey puck across the table toward my goal. I was useless but knew I was so going to get Hubert to play with me. I preferred this game to the pool table. I did get a few pucks into goal, but not a lot.

My drink was long finished, and we ended up playing on two of the arcade games. One was a fighting game, and another was being chased by something that ate you-I don’t exactly know what they were. Then, one glance at the clock and I saw it was a little after three in the morning. Crap. With Ive home, this wasn’t good. I had to be awake and alert around him.

“I’ll walk you to your bedroom,” Ivan said.

Did he know me and Ive had separate bedrooms?

“It’s okay, Ive is a heavy sleeper.”

“You and Ive are not sharing a bedroom, Charlotte. You do not have to lie to me. Do you enjoy being married?”

“I, er, yeah, it’s been fun.”

“Because your husbandis never home. You are not truly married. Tell me, Charlotte, would you like a large family?”

I open my mouththen close it. How do I answer that? Is there a right or wrong answer? I didn’t know what to do or say.

Ivan smiled. “I want you to think about it.”

“I don’t really know what a family is. I mean, there was always Rage and my sister.”

Ivan put a hand on top of mine. “But they could only do so much. They were not a true family to you.”

Every time he talked about my fatherand my past at the Evil Savages MC, it was like he had firsthand knowledge. The rumors about his early start in life had to be true. He spoke with real knowledge and understanding of my own life.

“I don’t know what a family really means,” I said. “I’ve watched it in movies and seen, you know, stuff, but I don’t know what a mother is supposed to be like or a father. My father hit me. Is that what Ive would do if he and I ever had children?”

Ivan shook his head. “No, he wouldn’t. Your father didn’t deserve to have that title, Charlotte. Oneday soon, you’re going to realize that you’re free.”

I wasn’t free. I was Ive’s wife. I’d sworn my loyalty to the Volkov Bratva. One misstep and my life could be ended. I was not important. Not back at the MC and certainly not now. I was never going to start believing that I was more than what I was.