Arranged love

APRIL

He stands there staring at me with hard eyes as though last night was my fault. They fall to my legs, and I push the oversized shirt down, trying to cover myself.

He notices and looks away from me, his jaw sharpening in the process.

I take in his body. He only wears a pair of sweatpants. They sit low on his narrow hips. His defined V fully on display. I can make out the softness of his dick behind them. Normally, I would blush at what we’ve done in bed, but all I can think of is what he did with Lucy last night.

“Grave!” I fall to his side in the center of the room. His eyes are closed, and his lips parted. “Grave, wake up!” I shout, tears burning my eyes.

Jasmine falls down next to me and pulls her cell out of her pocket.

I cry as I touch his neck with shaky hands. His skin is clammy and pale. Please don’t be dead. “What did you do, baby? What did you take?”

I wanted to wake him up. Scream at him. Pound on his chest and ask what the hell do you think you’re doing? Why do you waste your life? But I didn’t. I learned a very important lesson last night.

They don’t call him Grave for nothing.

“Are you even sorry?” I ask, breaking the awkward silence.

His eyes come back to mine, but he doesn’t answer.

I nod, getting my answer. I reach down and grab my phone off the floor and turn to walk toward the door. I’m pulled to a stop with a hand on my upper arm. I almost cry out from his touch alone. I put my head down, staring at the floor as tears begin to burn my eyes.

He gently turns me around and lifts my chin for me to look at him. My eyes shoot to the left, staring at a speck on the wall, not wanting to make eye contact.

“Did I hurt you?” he questions roughly.

Just my pride. “No,” I growl, mad at myself. That first tear runs down my cheek, and I bite my bottom lip in shame that I let him affect me this much. That I actually care that he stood me up to get high and fuck his fuck buddy. The one that he blatantly lied about not fucking anymore.

He lets go of my arm, cups my face with one hand, and wipes it away with his thumb.

My eyes finally meet his, and he stares down at me, giving nothing away. He’s hiding behind a wall a mile high. I look down and see a bottle of pills in his other hand. The same ones I found on him last night when I tried to shake him awake. When I screamed his name in the middle of the room, and no one helped me. No one seemed to care he wasn’t responding except for Jasmine. She was just as frantic as I was.

“Why do you do it?” I ask, my voice shaking. I feel like I was blinded to who he really is. To what he wants. It was all a lie, and I believed it. Last night opened my eyes. It’s not hard to figure out this is his lifestyle. Last night wasn’t just a one-time night with friends. How many times have I been with him, and he was high that I didn’t know about? Is he just that good at hiding it? Or am I just that blind?

He shatters my heart with three words. “To feel alive.”This is the property of Nô-velDrama.Org.

There was no confusion. He knew exactly what I meant. And that scares me more than his answer. Anger takes over my heartache. What he’s done. To me. To himself. I slap him across the face. The sound bouncing off the walls in the quiet room.

His head snaps to the side. “April …”

I slap him again. Harder. His eyes close tightly. “Did you feel that?”

He straightens, running a hand down his face while his breathing picks up. His bare chest rising and falling fast.

My hand stings, and his face now shows two handprints of mine. I slap him again.

“Stop!” he shouts, gripping my wrists and slamming my back into the door, making it rattle. His drug-hazed eyes glare down at mine. “I don’t expect you to understand.”

“I don’t.” The words get caught in my throat, and my bottom lip begins to tremble, trying to keep it together. “I kneeled on a floor last night, Grave. And I begged you to open your eyes. I cried for you not to be dead.” I choke out. “Do you know what that feels like?” I yank my wrists free of his hold. He’s weak. His body tired. Drugs will do that to you. Drain you of everything you have. I shove at his chest.

He takes a step back from me. “I don’t remember anything from last night.”

That makes me even more pissed. “You forgot we had a date? That you stood me up?”

“No,” he barks. “I remember the date. I just don’t remember how I ended up with Lucy.”

There she is again. She just stood there like a deer in headlights.

“Lucy, what did he take?” Jasmine demands, still kneeling next to me. I’ve sat down on my ass in my dress and pulled his body into my lap. His head in my hands.

I cry, shaking him. “Please wake up…”

“Lucy!” Jasmine shouts, jumping to her feet. She holds her phone in one hand with Titan on speakerphone. “What in the fuck did he take?”

“He … he … a pill bottle …” She sobs. Like she cares that he’s dying before our eyes. She was literally snorting a line of coke off a compact mirror when we burst into the room.

“Fuck!” Titan hisses through the phone. “We’re almost there.”

I start to dig through his jeans pocket. That’s when his body jerks, and he begins to vomit.

“Did you fuck her?” I ask. Jasmine said that Trenton had went up to the office to speak to Trey and that was when he saw Lucy and Grave all over each other sitting at the table, but no one mentioned sex.

His jaw sharpens. “I don’t know.”

My chest tightens at his answer, and those tears return to my eyes.

He sighs and steps toward me. “April …”

“Don’t.” I throw my hands up. I’m disgusted with him and with myself. I think I’m going to get sick at the thought of him with her. When he was supposed to have been with me.

“I was fucked up,” he growls.

I gasp. “That doesn’t make it okay, Grave.”

“I’m sorry …”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” I shout. Jasmine was right. I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to love me like I do him, but I can’t compete with someone like Lucy. She gives him something I never will. Acceptance. “I can’t be with someone who chooses to do drugs and fuck around on me. I refuse to lower myself to that level. I respect myself too much for that.”

With that, I turn, yank the door open, and then slam it shut. I look over my shoulder to see he didn’t follow me.

I didn’t expect him to.

I walk down the hallway and enter the spare laundry room that Emilee showed me last night. I open the dryer to see if my dress is clean. Emilee was kind enough to bring us back here last night and help me out of my soiled clothes. I shut it when I see it’s empty. “Shit.” I hope it’s still not in the washer. I open it up, and that too is empty. I go to leave but see my dress folded on top of the dryer.

Thank you, Emilee.

I quickly get dressed and drop the T-shirt in the small dirty clothes hamper. I hear voices downstairs in the kitchen, and I make my way down to them, carrying my heels in my hand from last night. Titan stands at the kitchen island with his back leaning against it and his arms crossed over his chest. Memories of last night come back to me.

The door busts open, and Titan enters with Emilee.

“I don’t know what happened,” I cry. My hands covered in vomit. “He just started getting sick.”

“Grave?” Titan slaps his face. He doesn’t move. “Grave, wake the fuck up, man!” he shouts, snapping his fingers in front of his face.

Still nothing.

“Get the door,” he orders to Emilee before he picks Grave up.

Emilee stands at the oven, pulling muffins out of it.

“Thank you for everything,” I say, getting their attention.

They both look up at me. She gives me a sad smile. “Of course. I’m glad we could help.”

Titan says nothing.

“I’m going to get going,” I say awkwardly, pulling my dress down. It’s not short by any means, but I just feel vulnerable.

“Titan can give you a ride home,” Emilee offers.

“No.” I shake my head. “I’m gonna call an Uber.”

“Nonsense.” She waves me off.

Without another word, he pushes off the kitchen island, gives her a long kiss, and then walks toward me. I follow him silently into the garage. We get into a candy apple red Maserati and then he pulls out of the garage. I give him my address and then go silent again.

Twenty minutes later, he pulls up to my house, and I thank him. As I go to get out of the car, he finally speaks. “Grave isn’t like the rest of us.”

It makes me pause. I turn to look at him, waiting for him to elaborate.

He runs a hand down his face before releasing a sigh. “I told him to back away from you.” His eyes burn into mine at his words. “That whatever is going on between you two, to call it off. And I stand by that decision.” My heart pounds at his confession. “He’s not someone you can change, April. And you’re not the type of woman to accept what he has to offer.” Then he turns to look straight ahead, dismissing me.

Numbly, I open the door and get out. I’m still standing there in complete shock at his words when he drives out of sight. He just said what I already told Grave, but that doesn’t make the pain in my chest hurt any less.