Arranged love

GRAVE

HER PUSSY CLENCHES around my cock, and her body tightens against mine as she comes.

I lean down, attacking her lips with mine as I continue to fuck her, getting ready for my own release. I would love to take my time with her right now, but I can’t. My body fucking hurts. I’m exhausted, but I couldn’t not show her that I love her. That I’m sorry for what I did. How I reacted and that I let her think I truly didn’t give a fuck about her.

I thrust one last time before coming. I lower her to her shaky feet but keep her pinned to the shower wall. “I’m sorry,” I say. She’ll never know how much I’m sorry for hurting her. I would give anything to take it back.

“Don’t be,” she whispers, running her fingers along my sleeve. “You did nothing wrong.”

I place my forehead to hers, still trying to catch my breath. “I did.” In so many ways.

She reaches up and cups my face and I lean into it. My eyes growing heavier by the second. I can feel the adrenaline from the fight dying off. I blink and her face grows with concern.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah,” I answer, taking a step back. “I just …” I almost trip over her clothes and fall into the wall.

“Grave.” She grips my upper arms. “Come on. Let’s get you cleaned off and in bed.”

I don’t argue with her because honestly, I’m not sure how much longer I have left before I pass the fuck out.

She grabs my soap and washes me off, being careful with my busted hand. It’s swollen, but it’s stopped bleeding. I can’t even make a fist with it right now. She finishes up quickly and turns the water off before she gets out and grabs two towels for us. She begins to dry me off and I take it from her. Then she walks over to the his and her sinks and starts digging under them in the cabinets. Slamming doors open and closed.

“What are you looking for?” I ask.

“Medicine. You need …”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

“No.” I interrupt her, knowing where she’s going.

She stops and stands, turning to face me. She hasn’t even taken the time to dry off yet. Her towel still sits on the counter folded. Her wet hair clings to her naked chest and she still has some makeup smeared on her face. “Grave, you need to take something.”

I shake my head. “I’ll be okay.”

She bites her bottom lip as if she wants to argue but I just told her I’m an addict. I have some tabs in my duffel bag in my closet but I’m not going to tell her that because I’m not going to take them. I can live with the pain. “I just need some rest.” I assure her and walk over to the counter. “Will you stay the night with me?” I ask.

We’ve always stayed at her house. One, because I liked being at her house. It felt like home to me. And two, because I never wanted her up at Kingdom around the guys.

“Of course.” She sighs, letting go of the fact I’m not going to take anything for the pain.

APRIL

I stand in the cooler at Roses when I hear the bell ring. “How may I help you?” I call out, walking behind the desk. The smile drops off my face when I see who it is.

Lucy stands there in a pair of blue jeans and a long-sleeve white shirt. Her blond hair is up in a high ponytail, and her face clear of makeup. Her brown eyes look sad, but she manages to give me a smile. “Hey,” she says shyly.

“Hey.” I cross my arms over my chest.

She bows her head, staring at her tennis shoes. “My brother told me that I owe you an apology and a thank you.”

I just stare at her.

She looks up at me. “I’m sorry-”

“I’m not the one you owe an apology to,” I interrupt her.

She lets out a long breath. “I told him I’m sorry.”

It’s been five days since we found her dying in her bedroom. Grave hasn’t mentioned her once. But I think about her all the time. Wondering if she’s okay.

“I was just jealous.” She sighs. “I knew from the moment I saw you two together at the Airport the night of his fight that he loved you.”

I feel what little anger I have for this woman fade. I walk out around the counter and over to her. I open my arms, and she all but falls into me. “I really am sorry.” She begins to softly cry. “I just wanted him to love me like that. Like I loved him.”

I rub her back, not sure what to say. You can’t make someone love you.

“Thank you.” She pulls away from me, rubbing her tears away. “I’m sober. And I understand what I’ve done is wrong.” Her eyes meet mine. “I’m going to rehab. But I wouldn’t have that opportunity if it wasn’t for you.”

I place my hands on her shoulders. “Don’t let a man ever make you think your life isn’t worth living, Lucy.” She sniffs. “You’re beautiful, and you need to put yourself first. Always.” She really is pretty. Her blond hair brings out her big brown eyes. I hate that she put so much of her life into Grave’s. But just because he doesn’t return the feelings doesn’t mean it’s not worth anything. “I wish you the best, and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

“Thank you,” she says again, pulling me in for another hug. When she pulls away, she sniffs again. “You are what he needs. You’re going to be the one to save him from himself.” And with that, she turns and exits the shop.

GRAVE

I SIT UP at my desk at Kingdom. I managed to sneak in without being seen. I was gone for almost two weeks when me and April broke up. Then I took some time off after Lucy’s attempted suicide. I needed time to get my shit together. To decide the kind of life I wanted to have and how I was going to accomplish it. Plus, I just wanted to spend time with April. I helped her at the shop. She’s been extremely busy playing catchup and getting ready for Emilee and Titan’s wedding. It was a nice change of scenery. Not like anyone missed me here.

My door opens, and I hold my breath when I see my brother enter. So much for flying under the radar. I sit back in my seat, looking up at him.

He comes to stand at my desk. “May I speak to you?”

“If it’s about rehab, no,” I say simply.

He sighs and sits down, rolling up the sleeves on his button-down. “I’m sorry, Grave.”

“Don’t worry about it.” I know my brother doesn’t do well when it comes to talking about feelings. I don’t want him to feel uncomfortable. He doesn’t need to apologize. And I don’t need to hear it.

His eyes go to my sleeve, and he frowns as he looks it over. Recognition flashes across his face when he realizes that face looks familiar. “So …” He looks at me. “She’s the one?”

I nod. “She’s the one.” April is everything for me. She’s my accountability. My love and my hell. She’s going to help me fight my demons every day by giving me all of her.

My office phone rings, and I pick it up. “Grave.”

“Sir, you have a visitor,” Nigel says into the phone.

“Who is it?”

“Tanner Mason.”

I make my way downstairs, and I wasn’t surprised when Bones insisted on coming with me. We step off the elevator into our private lobby. “Why are you here, Tanner?” It’s the same thing he asked me that first night at the Airport.

He looks from Bones to me. “I, uh …” He squares his shoulders. “I wanted to tell you in person.” He pauses.

“Okay.” I step toward him. “Tell me what?”

“Trey found Lucy in her penthouse this morning. She had passed away.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Bones is the first to speak. His words as sincere as you’ll ever get from him.

My chest tightens, and I run my hand over my hair. “Cause of death?” I ask.

His eyes hold mine. You can tell he wants to cry, but he’s holding it together the best he can. “It was …” He clears his throat. “Suicide.”

APRIL

I stand next to Grave at the graveside service for Lucy. “Fire Away” by Chris Stapleton plays softly in the background. The Mason brothers wanted to have a private service. Her death hasn’t even been announced publicly since she passed away two days ago.

I still don’t believe it. I just saw her. She came by the shop. She looked better, said she wanted to be better. Not three hours later she was found dead in her penthouse apartment. It doesn’t add up. Or maybe I just don’t want to believe it. I’ve never known depression or addiction before. I don’t pretend to even begin to understand what Lucy felt or went through.

I reach out for Grave’s hand, but he pulls away from me.

I close my eyes and let the tears roll freely down my face. He’s been this way ever since he found out about her death. Distant. Completely closed-off. No jokes. No nothing.

He blames himself. We all do. Even I feel like I could have done more to help her. To save her. She didn’t deserve to die. Not this young and not this way. She had too much to give to this world. She was going to rehab. She had plans to change her life around. She wanted to do better for herself.

Opening my eyes, I see the three Mason brothers standing by her casket. Trey, the baby, openly sobs with his hand on the light wood.

Tanner stands next to him with his head down with his hand on his baby brother. I can see his shoulders shaking.

The only one I’ve never seen is Turner, but I knew who he was the moment I saw him. They all have a similar look about them. He stands there, head held high, and not a tear in his eye. His hands tucked in the front pockets of his suit. Sunglasses on top of his head. He looks out into nothing. And my heart breaks for him. At the inner battle he’s fighting. There’s nothing wrong with feeling something, especially when the loss is a sibling.