Arranged love

APRIL

I sit up in Grave’s bed the moment I hear the front door open and close. He’s been gone for hours. The sun came up three hours ago, but I’ve stayed here, waiting on him. I wasn’t able to sleep, and I’ve been sick to my stomach. Worried to death over where he went and what he was doing. Why he shut his cell off.

His bedroom door opens, and he walks in.

“Where have you been?” I demand, feeling both pissed and relived that he’s okay.

He comes to a stop and looks up, his eyes meeting mine. My heart picks up at the look in them. They’re red and I notice he stumbles. He’s either drunk or high. Maybe both.

“Not sure how that is any of your business,” he says.

“You left me here alone so you could go get fucked up?” I ask, trying to understand but not start a fight. I don’t know how fragile he is right now. Lucy is dead, and I know he’s hurting.

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he sits on the end of the bed and removes his shoes. Then he stands and undoes his belt.

“Grave, we need to …”

“No, we don’t, April. What I did and where I went is none of your business,” he snaps.

“You’re doing this again. You’re trying to push me away.”

“Then take the hint and leave,” he growls.

I nod my head and lick my dry lips. “I know you’re stronger than your demons, Grave. I just wish you’d realize that too.”

He gives a rough laugh. “Don’t start that shit with me. Next thing, you’ll be telling me is to go to rehab like my brother.”

I stand from the bed. “Grave …”

“Get the fuck out of my house, April!” he shouts, pointing at the bedroom door.

My bottom lip starts to quiver, and I try to swallow the knot that forms in my throat. I don’t want to leave him, but I can’t make him let me stay. This is his house and he obviously no longer wants me.

Instead of waiting for me to do what I’m told, he enters his bathroom and slams the door shut. Then I hear the sound of the door lock.

I run over and start banging on the door. “Open the fuck up, Grave! We’re going to talk about this.”

The shower comes on, but he says nothing.

I wrap my hand around the doorknob and start shoving on the door while my free hand pounds on it. “Grave! Open the fucking …”

It swings open, jerking me into the bathroom in the process, causing me to run right into him. He stands before me shirtless and pants undone but still pulled up around his hips. His blue eyes glare down at me. I take in a shaky breath, not knowing what to do exactly. I don’t want to push him, but then again, maybe that’s what he needs. “I’m trying to help you.” I soften my voice and place my hands on his chest. His heart pounds against my palms.

“April …” he growls my name.

“Please, Grave.” I plead with him. “I love you.” I need him. What happened to Lucy was heart breaking and I’d hate to see him go down the same path. Maybe if her brothers had helped her, she wouldn’t be dead. “You told me you loved me.” He looks away from me and I see the tic in his sharp jaw. I’m not getting through to him. “Did you hear me?” I begin to slap his chest, growing desperate. “Answer me!”

Wrapping his hands around my wrists, he squeezes them, forcing me to stop. “I don’t need your help!” he snaps. “And I sure as fuck don’t need you.” Then he shoves me out of the bathroom and slams the door in my face.

I begin to cry, knowing that he’s too far gone. I’m not enough to make him stop. Lucy’s death was hard on him and not even I can numb the pain. I run a hand through my hair and get dressed before walking out with my head down. Doing as I’m told, knowing that I can’t talk him into letting me stay.

GRAVE

I SETTLE INTO the couch, my arms fanning the back of it, and look up at the ceiling. The room spins, and my vision goes in and out while “Sail” by AWOLNATION plays through the speakers. The words pound in my head like a drum. Two weeks I’ve gone without April, and it’s been hell. But it’s what I deserve. I was horrible to her. Just because I had a moment of weakness. I told her I didn’t need her and to leave. She fucking left. What did I expect her to do?

“Man, it’s gonna be fine,” I hear Trey say as he snorts a line of coke off the coffee table. “You were fine without her before, and you’ll be fine now.”

I block him out, close my eyes, and listen to the thunder shake the walls. I draw in a long breath and fill my lungs with the tainted drugs. It’s not the same.

The song changes to “Bury Me Low” by 8 Graves. It’s always been my theme song.

“Grave? Man, someone is hollering at you,” he says, shoving my arm.

“Fuck ’em.” I take another hit, needing that high I was able to reach before April entered my life. I need to drown her out. Fucking bury her so deep it’ll smother every thought of her I’ve ever had.

“Grave?” Trey sighs. “It’s Titan.”

“Fuck ’em,” I repeat and take another hit.

Come on. Come on.C0pyright © 2024 Nôv)(elDrama.Org.

I need this hole to fill. The pain to go away. Just fucking knock my ass out.

“Grave, you sorry son of a bitch,” Titan snaps. “Open the fucking door or I will break it down.”

Maybe he’ll hit me over the head with it. Memory loss would be better than this.

How long will it take …?

I hear the door splinter and what’s left of it bangs against the interior wall.

“Shit!” Trey hisses beside me.

Titans storms into the room, and I’m surprised he’s alone. “Where are the rest of the bitches …?” He punches me in the face so hard my head snaps back.

Blood instantly fills my mouth, and my face begins to pound.

“Fuck.” Trey jumps up from his spot on the couch next to me.

Titan grips my shirt and yanks me off my ass, then shoves me to the floor.

“Stop, man!” Trey shouts.

I look up at my friend, already feeling my eye start to swell. “Fucking do it,” I tell him, coughing up blood that’s filled my mouth.

“Fuck, you’re a piece of shit,” Titan growls down at me.

I know I am. April knows I am. That’s why she left me. “Just put me out of my misery.”

“Get over whatever problem you have right now and move the fuck on.”

“Easy for you to say.” His woman didn’t leave him. I wonder if he didn’t share her with my brother, if she would stay with him? “I wonder who Emilee loves more?” I ask, thinking out loud.

“Grave,” he growls. “Get your ass up. We have to go.”

I close my eyes and welcome the darkness. “Fuck you, Titan.”

He yanks me up by my shirt and hauls me out of the house. Then he’s throwing me into his passenger seat. Squealing his tires, he pulls out onto the street and holds his phone up to his ear. “On our way.” Pause. “Not well.” He slides his eyes to mine. “Like shit. See you in a minute.”

“Where are we going?” I ask. Maybe it’s an intervention. I wouldn’t be surprised if they throw me into a mental hospital and toss the key away. Everyone is tired of putting up with me. Myself included.

I blink, and my eyes grow heavy.

“How much did you have?” he grinds out.

“Not enough,” I slur.

“Fuck!” He slams his palm down on the steering wheel. “I should leave you right here on the side of the motherfucking road.”

“Do it,” I dare him.

“Nah, that’d be too easy for you. You deserve everything that is about to hit you in the fucking face.”

“Your fist? Hit me until I feel nothing.”

He just shakes his head, ignoring my question.