Diary of Fragile Heart (Spin of Loving You Too Long)

Gladwin opened the envelope containing the two sheets of paper with overwhelming anger. One of the papers he opened was a divorce petition with Flavia’s signature at the bottom. Meanwhile, the second paper was a statement containing Flavia’s agreement to make Phoebe his second wife. Unlike the first sheet, the second one had no signature from his wife at all.

Furious, Gladwin crumpled both papers into shapeless forms and tossed them roughly.

“Stay calm, Gladwin, stay calm,” he muttered to himself. He tried to take a deep breath and exhale slowly. Control yourself because getting angry won’t solve the problem, he muttered to himself again.

“Flavia’s love is only for you,” Galdwin reminded himself. And didn’t Flavia also say she would come back?

Gladwin had to control himself. Control his anger even though what he wanted now was to go to his mother’s house and scold the woman who had given birth to her because indirectly it was Julie Hampton who had made Flavia leave him.

“Oh God, I know there is not a single human being on this earth who lives without trials. Whether good or bad, happy or sad, healthy or sick. You give us all so that we may be grateful to You. Oh God, forgive my negligence all this time. I was too carried away with all the worldly pleasures and beauty that I forgot You. Forgive me,” a tear fell, wetting Gladwin’s cheek.

“Forgive me for loving Your creation more than I love You. I know this is a test from You for me. I can only plead for You to strengthen my heart, my wife’s heart. Strengthen us. Always watch over my wife wherever she is. Keep her safe as long as she is with her. Return her to me in good health. Forgive me if my efforts to save our marriage hurt others. If my choice to marry Flavia was a mistake, then show me its truth.”Content protected by Nôv/el(D)rama.Org.

“You, the Owner of Hearts, shake my heart and show me who my true soulmate is. I believe You are the All-Knowing, the Most Compassionate. If Flavia is indeed my destiny, then open the door to my mother’s heart. Make our efforts to unite easy.

“Because truly, Lord, I love her too much right now.” Gladwin couldn’t hold back his tears any longer. He could only sit weakly and let out all the pain in his heart. He spent all his tears. Angry? Of course, he was angry. But here wasn’t the place for it.

Gladwin woke up again at seven o’clock. It turned out he cried himself to sleep. He wasn’t lost in a dream. Flavia left; that was the reality he had to face now. And resignedly, though it was difficult for him, he would try to endure.

Gladwin wore a milk chocolate-colored sweater with a short-sleeved shirt underneath. Black trousers and dark brown leather loafers completed his attire. Gladwin grabbed his car keys. Today, he would go through it as if nothing had happened. It’s not that he didn’t want to look for Flavia. But he knew if Flavia intended to disappear, then she would be hard to find.

Gladwin arrived at the hospital parking lot. Though his eyes were still puffy, he still smiled at everyone he encountered, greeted everyone he knew, and responded to every greeting from those who knew him. He didn’t have to be rude to those who didn’t know anything, did he?

Gladwin entered his office. Jonas was already there, preparing all his needs. The list of patients was in his hands. Even Gladwin’s computer was on, ready with all the necessary data.

One by one, Gladwin attended to the patients. Until lunchtime when Jonas was ready to invite him to eat together. But Gladwin chose to refuse. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, not even drinking water. So he decided to fast for the day.

At four o’clock, Gladwin finished his shift. Fortunately, there were no scheduled surgeries because if there were, he would feel guilty for not working wholeheartedly. His mind still lingered on the possibilities of where his wife might be now. In the end, Gladwin chose to go back to his apartment.

Abigail was already there, watching television silently. Her eyes looked clearly vacant. Gladwin didn’t greet her; it felt like his mouth had turned numb. He chose to enter his room and lay down without changing his clothes.

“Uncle…” a soft knock snapped Gladwin out of his thoughts. “Uncle, it’s dinner time, wake up,” she softly ordered. Gladwin opened his eyes, which he had covered with his arm, and looked at Abigail, who was now looking at him with sadness. “What do you want for dinner?” She asked again.

“Anything,” he replied hoarsely. Gladwin cleared his throat, then got up. He reached for the glass beside the nightstand and filled it with water before drinking it until it was empty, then headed to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, he came out of the room and saw Abigail had already prepared food on the table. Gladwin ate it. Whether he had an appetite or not, hungry or not, Gladwin still had to endure to continue his life.

Abigail, who had chosen to remain silent all this time, finally spoke up. “Do you want to ask me something?” She asked hesitantly.

“No,” Gladwin replied flatly. He took the dirty plate to the sink and washed it.

Abigail looked at her uncle sadly. The man’s face was clearly gloomy, there was no mischievous spark in his eyes. At first, Abigail thought she would see Gladwin explode, get angry, or do any other anarchic action like slamming or breaking things, which often happened when a patient man got angry. But she was wrong. Instead of venting his emotions, her uncle chose silence. And that actually made Abigail even more scared. It was clear her uncle wasn’t okay, but he was trying to appear okay.

A week had passed, and her uncle still appeared the same. Silent like a statue. Although he occasionally smiled, his smile was never genuine because Abigail no longer saw the lines of laughter in his eyes. The man went about his activities as if everything was merely an obligation and necessity. But his soul seemed to be absent. Her uncle looked empty. Hollow. Living just for the sake of living. No passion, no enthusiasm.