Finding Forgiveness

But what was worse? The fact that in his hands, he held the box of birth control pills.

I stepped back towards the bathroom as he looked up at me with a raised eyebrow.

He snapped his fingers and pointed to a space on the floor in front of him.

“Andrea, I-” I started, gingerly stepping forward.

“You haven’t even opened the box,” he interrupted. “Which is weird because I seem to remember quite clearly telling you to start taking them two days ago?”

I swallowed and nodded, “I know.”

“So why didn’t you?”

“Because I-” I began.

I stopped and he just stared at me waiting.

“Forgive me for not being eager to make it more convenient for you to rape me,” I hissed suddenly remembering that tonight I wasn’t putting up with his shit.

“I see that mouth of yours is creeping back,” he said. “And I find it entertaining but what I will not tolerate is disobedience. So fucking take the pills.”

“No,” I said. “I won’t.”

He stepped forward and put his hands on either side of my face.

“You can’t bare to submit can you?” he asked. “You never did for your Alpha and now you think you won’t for me, huh?”

“Why should I?” I questioned. “Why should I give you the satisfaction?”

“Because the day you stop satisfying me is the day you die, Blanca,” he replied running a finger along my jaw. “So open your mouth.”

I stared up at him, not even opening it to reply as he got one of the pills out of the box.

He let out a short laugh, “Do you want me to make your life hell again?” he asked in a deep tone. “Because we can go back to that if it’s what you want.”

Staring at the small pink pill in his fingers, I took a few moments to remember the wretched pain I had experienced over my first days with him and how it had eased the more I obeyed him.

There was no sign of Leo and it looked like I was going to be here for a while. So if to make my situation bearable the only sacrifice I had to make was my autonomy, I was going to take it.

And so I opened my mouth and when he put the pill in, I swallowed.

“I’m glad we could reach a mutually beneficial agreement,” he said with a complacent smile.

The next morning, we drove back to Venezuela and I soon found myself back in the first house, Andrea had taken me to.

I shuddered as I entered the bedroom, the memories seizing me. The sheets had been changed and were fresh and neat, hiding evidence of my struggle but it was still alive and well in my mind.

“It won’t be long before the effect of those pills have set in,” Andrea said, “Then we will celebrate our marriage.”

His words sickened my stomach. Four days had passed since he last forced himself upon me and I’m not sure I could survive it again.

“Anyway,” he began taking his shirt off. “I’m going into Caracas to deal with the last of Richardo Gonzalez’s cockroaches that avoided my little birthday gift to him. I will be back late this evening.”

By ‘birthday gift’ of course, Andrea meant the bomb that blew up Gonzalez’s entire house, all his friends? and his body which had been strangled only two minutes before.

“Chico will be here,” he added putting on a new shirt. “And I have told him to make sure you take that pill this evening. Don’t you dare cause any trouble, okay?”

I nodded.

“Adios, Se? ora,” he said, kissing my cheek.

“Bye,” I replied quietly as he left the room, “… hope you get shot…” I added when I was sure he was out of earshot.

When I heard the front door close, I instantly ripped the ring off my finger and threw it onto the nightstand unable to look at it for any longer. It felt good to be rid of it but I was still in this room which his scent overwhelmed so strongly.

So I made my way down the hall in search of a fresh room to sit. One Andrea clearly hadn’t spent much time in.

My first thought was a library. He was clearly an intelligent man but he didn’t strike me as much of a reader. But surely a man as rich as him would have a book or two?

And he did. A whole room full. And in a room that was free of his scent. I ran my finger along the spines of the books, scanning for something to read. Sure enough, they were all in Spanish but there was also a Spanish-English dictionary and that combined with my pre-existing Latin and Italian knowledge, I was able to sit down and slowly decipher a Latino thriller. Although continually having to pause and refer to the dictionary which somewhat destroyed the suspense, I found myself getting completely engrossed in the book. I also considered how much I hoped Andrea hadn’t read it. The main character was a serial killer with some fairly creative habits and the last thing Andrea needed was any inspiration.

At about 7 o clock in the evening, a knock on the door sounded.

“Yes?” I asked and the door opened to reveal Chico.

A warm, spicy smell also floated in through the air.

“I made chilli con carne. You should come eat and take your pill,” he said.

I nodded and followed him down to the kitchen.

“So you’re bodyguard, driver, cook and babysitter now?” I asked as he handed me a plate of food.

“I do anything the boss desires,” he replied. “Tonight, that is making sure you swallow this,” he added handing me a plate with just one of the singular pink pills on it and a glass of water.

“Anything? he desires?” I asked with a wink.

He almost smiled before turning back to the pot of chili.

“Eat with me,” I said.

“No, gringa. I don’t fraternise with the prisoners,” he replied.

“Please. And I’m not his prisoner. I’m his wife,” I said patting the table opposite him.

“Really?” he asked. “I don’t see no ring.”Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I smiled awkwardly and put my hand under the table.

“Fine,” he said. “I will eat with you but you better put that ring back on before he gets home.”

He then sat down opposite me and didn’t say another word as we ate.

Just as I had finished, a car pulled up outside, it’s wheels screeching on the drive.

The car door then promptly slammed and multiple sets of fast footsteps came to the door before if flung open and five or six men flooded in.

Andrea was at the front with his arm around a man who’s head hung low and was being dragged, his feet scraping on the floor by him and another man on the other side. The others followed quickly behind as blood poured onto the floor.