Forbidden Desire

Jane looked at me, seemingly frozen for a few moments, and even without her saying a word, I could see in her eyes that she missed me as much as I missed her. She tried to open her mouth but couldn’t, and I saw a tear roll down her face as her gaze moved from my eyes to my lips. I didn’t want to be hasty, but before I knew it, I was getting closer to her. When she didn’t stop me, I took her face in my hands while she placed her warm hands on my neck, making my whole body shiver at her touch. I moved slowly towards her full lips and kissed her intensely, feeling her pull me closer, making me realize that despite more than a month having passed, nothing had changed. She still loved and desired me as intensely as I did her, and that was enough to make me cry with joy. We devoured each other’s lips until we were out of breath, and for a brief moment, we seemed to be one. But soon she seemed to come to her senses and separated our lips, even though she didn’t have the courage to separate our foreheads that were still pressed together.

“No, Jason! I can’t! I’m with Ji now and you’re with Jinhee.”

“Love, I was never with Jinhee. She set that up. A few days before, I told her that I could recognize you even with my eyes closed because your perfume was unique, and she went into our room and put on your perfume. It was all a setup! I would never betray you, Jane! I love you the same way I know you love me, so please come back to me!”

She looked at me, seemingly shocked, and I knew she finally understood that I hadn’t cheated on her. She seemed to process that information for a second but quickly shook her head as if trying to push away her own thoughts.

“That doesn’t matter, Jason. You may not have cheated on me, but I can’t unsee that scene. I can’t get over everything that happened before that. Jinhee will never leave us alone. She’s expecting your child!”

“She’s not anymore.”

I said with sorrow, and she looked at me, totally surprised.

“She fell down the stairs and ended up losing the baby.”

She stayed silent for a while, digesting that information, and before I could react, she came to me, giving me a tight hug.

“I’m so sorry that happened! Truly. Regardless of the problems I have with Jinhee, I don’t wish that on anyone. Losing a child must be an immeasurable pain, and I hope that both you and Jinhee are okay, even though I know how difficult it must be.”

She seemed genuinely sad to hear about everything that happened, and I just accepted her hug as if it could heal all my pain.

“It’ll be okay!”Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org exclusive © material.

She said this while squeezing me tighter in her embrace, and I just wanted to stay in her arms, feeling the soft scent of her perfume that I loved so much. I felt the tears roll down, and it was as if I was washing my soul.

“You have no idea how much I needed this!”

She seemed to bring breath back to my lungs, and when she pulled away a bit to look at me, I didn’t want to let her go, so I kept my hands on her waist.

“I’m sure you would have been a great father to that child, just as I know you will be a great father to our boy.”

Seeing her smile at me and talking about our child made me smile even through the tears, realizing that no matter what, I could never give up on her.

“It’s all I want most, my love. To be a good father to our child and to be an even better man for you every day.”

She looked away, and I took her face in my hands, kissing her full lips once more, feeling her give in again, intensifying our kiss more and more.

“I just want to have you back. I want to marry you and raise our child. I want to come home knowing that I’ll sleep and wake up every day with the woman I love, the only one I’ve ever loved and will love forever! It’s clear that neither of us can move on, so come back to me, love! Please! I promise that if you love me again, this time I’ll love you the way you deserve to be loved!”

I said all this looking into her eyes, and I could feel her slowly giving in, but then we heard a fake cough in the hallway, and she turned to see Jihoon standing there. She immediately moved away from me and went to him, explaining when she saw he seemed upset.

“Jason was telling me that Jinhee lost the baby, and I was hugging him because I can imagine how sad that must be.”

He remained silent, and she seemed desperate for a second.

“Love, nothing was happening!”

She affirmed, and after some time looking into her eyes, he just nodded and pulled her to him, and she seemed to relax immediately. Hearing her call him love destroyed me, but I tried to tell myself that she was just saying that for the sake of it. After all, if she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t have kissed me.

“Alright. Let’s go home!”

She agreed and held his hand like a lost child.

“Let’s go… Jason, look, if you want to come to the appointments or want to know about the baby, I won’t oppose it. You can participate in the pregnancy as much as you want, I won’t stop my child from having the father I never had.”

She said, looking at me before leaving with Jihoon. I went back home with the sweet taste of her in my mouth, replaying every moment of the day in my mind, allowing myself to rekindle a hope that I thought no longer existed. The hope of being happy with the woman I loved so intensely. After that day, I started seeing Jane almost every day. I would pick her up from college, go to the appointments, and after some time, Jihoon even allowed me to visit her at his house. Although it hurt every time I saw them together, I tried to tell myself that it was all temporary and that sooner or later she would come back to me because every time we were together, I could feel how much she loved me. Jinhee started training dance every day and was striving to join a K-pop group, which kept her busy enough not to bother me. I thought I was making some progress with Jane until one morning, Jinhee showed up with a magazine that displayed several intimate moments between Jane and Jihoon. They were kissing, caressing each other, and even at a spa wearing only robes.

“Wow, Jane got over it pretty quickly for someone who seemed to love you so much.”

She said, and those words echoed in my mind, making me realize that I had really lost the woman I loved. Jinhee came to me, hugging me and sitting on my lap. I looked into her big brown eyes.

“But I’m still here, Jason! And I still love you so much! Shall we try again?”

I looked at those pictures once more and closed my eyes, feeling the pain consume me. I just wanted to forget all that, even if it was just for a minute, and before I knew it, I was kissing Jinhee intensely, who reciprocated like she never had before. I stood up, placing her on the table, and started taking off her clothes, seeing the smile of happiness on her face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment, my love!”

She moaned as I removed her last pieces of clothing and kissed her entire body. But I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t feel anything despite her being attractive, so I just closed my eyes, imagining she was Jane. She started to unbutton my pants, and soon I was inside her, trying to lose myself and forget everything, but no matter how deep I went, I just couldn’t climax. Jinhee writhed several times, and this time I knew it was out of pleasure. The younger woman scratched my back, moaned, said she loved me, and was giving me everything I had always wanted from her, but now I only wanted it if it were with someone else. When I realized that not even with my eyes closed, imagining Jane, I could climax, I pulled out of Jinhee, leaving her confused.

“What’s wrong, love? Is something wrong?”

I felt the tears falling, and when she saw I was crying, her satisfied smile disappeared. I nodded, feeling worse and worse.

“There is, Jinhee. There is something wrong! You are not her! You are not Jane!”