Chapter 63: How He Killed Me
His lips were inviting me to respond back when I did it. I was really a hypocrite to even answer his invitation.
But this was way better than allowing him to listen to his words.
Seven years had already passed yet that scene made me remember how Desmond kissed her. How he pleased her was the same thing he usually did to Hazel.
That made me irk and halted kissing Desmond. He had a look of confusion when our eyes met. Hearing our labor breaths, he knew that he wanted the hungry kiss we exchanged but as soon as he saw my expression, he had a look of horrifying right now.
It was a cold facade. The same expression when I felt disgusted with him.
“Seraphina-” He was about to raise his hand to brush his chuckles against my cheek when I spoke.
“You killed me.” Desmond’s eyes widened. I couldn’t help myself from shedding tears the moment I saw him with Hazel in his study room. “The moment you had been with Hazel… The moment you did not consult that matter to me… The moment you agreed with her condition… You have killed me, Desmond.”
I stepped back and took my robe so I could wrap them around my body again. I instantly wiped the tears from my eyes.
“Everything was your fault yet why couldn’t I see that you regretted your actions from the past?” I asked in a calm tone. I wanted him to know that Desmond must fear me.
Now that I realized it. I acted impulsively last night, begging not to take Sander away from me. I was desperate, I know. But the stake here was my son already.
But… realizing it right now. I really fell for his trap. He was trying to abuse his power. With that, I concluded that he didn’t get an ounce of guilt when he betrayed me.
He gasped. “I regretted what happened in the past… It was my fault, yes. But I am doing my best to return your trust with me.”
“That’s sweet.” I smiled bitterly. “However, why couldn’t I feel that? Instead, you even threatened me. Is that your way of making me trust you again?” I exhaled sharply, not wanting to shed a tear again. “How terrific!”
The sardonic tone in my voice was evident that I was not going to buy everything he said and that he wouldn’t give up on me-us. But I couldn’t see that effort.
“It is because that is the only way that I can show you that I really want us to be back together. If…” He clenched his hands. “If I can abuse my power, I would want you to stay by my side.”
“Even if it is against my will? Even if I said that there will be no more second chances for you since you betrayed me for the second time?” That made him silent. “Remember that you are in your sanity that time, Desmond!” I couldn’t help raising my voice.
“I only did that because you have been worrying that at that time, we have no pup, Seraphina…” he pleaded. “And I do not have the valor to say that you are infertile from Anderson’s test. I do not want you to get depressed so I think a solution that will-”
I didn’t allow him to continue his words as I slapped him so hard. Tears were already cascading down my cheeks as I growled a warning when I came to spot Desmond’s elites who came out of nowhere.
“Don’t come near us!” Desmond ordered, still looking at me. Tears were brimming in his eyes. “Tell George not to allow Sander to come here if he happens to wake up,” he ordered one of them. “I don’t want Sander to witness this…” he said meekly before he looked at me.
“You should have consulted me, bastard,” I uttered them in pure disgust.
My wolf was supporting me in confronting Desmond. I knew that I said earlier that I didn’t want us to talk about the past but when I kissed him again, I recalled the part where I eavesdropped on them.
It was so painful to remember that memory.
I grabbed his collar and punched him. “What you said is that you do not want me to get depressed, that is not for you who shall decide on that! You should have told me sooner!”
From afar, I could hear Sander’s panicking, distressed voice. He was already awake from the commotion Desmond and I caused.
“And now, you found out that I have Sander six years ago. I conceived Sander. Finally, the Moon Goddess blessed me with a wonderful pup. Yet you dare to come back as if nothing happened?!” My voice croaked.
Ah, shit… I couldn’t halt these tears from falling from my eyes. How must I tell my eyes not to shed tears for this bastard again?
“I hate you! I fucking hate you, Desmond!” His eyes widened. Tears were already falling from his eyes as soon as he heard those words from me. “I should have let you feel how it means to sleep with another person so you would know how you killed me by that time! You are a selfish, tyrant man! You don’t deserve my love after all! So, do not expect me to love you again even if years have already passed. I had a hard time healing myself! I had a hard time forgetting that time I caught you! You should have not come back and let us live in peace! You should not have become my mate!”
I raised my voice. My reverberating voice echoed throughout the whole forest. My voice even croaked. My visions were blurred caused by the tears I was shedding right now.
“Seraphina…” His voice croaked. There was pain evident in his tone as well.
“Don’t come near me!” I jerked his hand away from me when he dared to touch me.
Desmond looked melancholy and dejected. He saw the abomination in my eyes and couldn’t do anything to satiate it.
He lowered his head, not wanting to meet my eyes but he looked devastated right now. I could even feel his wolf trying to communicate with us but I blocked him.
“Is there… Is there any way I can make you trust me again, Seraphina?” he asked in a heartbroken tone.
“Give us the freedom my son and I wanted,” I answered him immediately. I wanted to let him know that I had been wanting this from him.
Desmond gasped. “No!” he said angrily. “You know that I cannot let that happen! You are not going to run away from me, Seraphina! You are not going to take my son away from me!”
I snorted. “Fret not, Desmond. I can still give you the custody of seeing Sander but you and I are not going to be acquainted with each other. Halt from thinking that you want to reconcile with our marriage relationship. Grant me from divorcing our relationship,” I demanded.
All the words I uttered earlier were gradually shattering him. The way I saw how he was panicking was enough that he was alarmed at my wishes.
“Not divorcing our relationship…” He looked horrified.
I looked at him frigidly. “What did I say before that if you repeat this?” I watched him closely to see his frightening expression. “I am going to break our mate bond and divorce our relationship, right? Do you remember that?” He didn’t say anything. “I can vividly remember that I uttered those words. Now, I do not wish to stay in this marriage anymore. If you really want to ask for my forgiveness and earn my trust again, do what I wish.”
Word for word, I emphasized them. This was to let him know that everything was over now. That he couldn’t do anything to fix it.
Desmond shook his head. “No…” He smiled wryly as he slowly stepped back only to gather support in the railings on his back. “Anything… But not that…” He shook his head, looking to the floor. “Not that divorce thing…” he muttered, not looking at me.
I watched him kneeling on the floor and clutching his hair in distress. My wolf wanted me to help him but I reminded her how Desmond betrayed us.
He must suffer. That was the point.
“According to the legend, if a mate bond has been reconnected and severed for the second time around, the one who shall sever must die or perhaps, both of them.” As soon as I said that, Desmond gawked at me, getting more terrified than before.
“N-No!” He crawled to me and hugged my waist. “Seraphim… Please… D-Don’t reject me. Don’t reject our mate bond. I cannot be able to handle the pain if you are going to sever our mate bond again. Please!” He buried his face in my stomach.
I felt his hot tears wetting my robe. I didn’t falter on my ground. I felt like what he was showing right now was not genuine.
It was as if he was manipulating me. Of what he did as soon as we met, all the manipulative actions he did, I already found it hard to trust him. Thus, it was hard for me to distinguish now if he was being genuine or not.
“I cannot live without you… Anything! But not rejecting me and divorcing our marriage…” he pleaded, looking up at me.
But I was cold as ice right now. My heart might react to the emotions he was showing but there was no way I would be blinded myself from believing him.
“I cannot trust you again no matter what efforts you shall put in, Desmond Verlice.”
Those words smeared with my nonchalant tone were like Desmond was being pierced with a thousand arrows to his heart.
I watched how his shoulders slumped, looking so heartbroken and shattered right now. I could tell that his heart had been shattered again.
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That was the point here.
If he thought that he could manipulate me just like he did last night, I wouldn’t be fooled anymore.
If he separated me from Sander, he was the one who would suffer in the end once Sander realized it was his father’s fault. My son was not that dumb. I knew it.
Sander was sage and smart so he would easily realize everything.
“If only you did not come back and you should have just left me alone, things would have been better for me and Sander. But you are here… You know how to ruin everything.”
I turned my back while I was hearing him sobbing like a child. Desmond knew that it was already too late.
He should also realize that I do not love him anymore.
Or perhaps, so I thought.