His Soul & His Shame

I woke up feeling so much worse than when I went to sleep. I dreaded today because I know Ezra will come straight from her to me and try to make me understand his reasons.

Maybe before I would have understood his reasons but now they were just absurd to me.

I just want to move on from him and his thoughts, it's time I move on from my crazy one-sided love and make something for myself.

I brushed my teeth and took a bath, I picked myself skinny jeans and a hoodie because the weather is cold today.

I am in university and I love to cook and I want to start my restaurant someday. Ezra being the only son of Irwin multinational corporations he inherited his dad's company and all and he started going to their office. When I went downstairs for breakfast mum and dad left for their works. Mom is a doctor and dad has a construction company, he builds houses and offices.

We were not as rich as Ezra but we pass the rich vibe check. See I am still thinking about Ezra when I wanted to forget about him.

I have one hour to reach my university and I always took my car. Sometimes Ezra drops or picks me up because she is also going to the same university. I just can't take her name.

He met her at our university when he came to pick me up and after the second time he picks us up. I never questioned him or her but I stopped going with them or him.

Today, I don't want to see him or listen to anything. Maybe I am being overly reacting but I can't help it.

Besides Ezra, I have another friend whom I trust more than Ezra. She is Joanna and we were literally sisters in the form of friends.

She knows my deadly one-sided love for Ezra and his indirect rejection of my advances and she hates him for it and as a person too.

She thinks Ezra is an overly egotistical handsome Jerk, who thinks everything is easy. I don't mind her words because Sometimes Ezra is like that.

See my whole world and thoughts revolve around him, I need to stop thinking about him and should create my world.

I took my car and drove it to the University. Joanna is waiting for me at the parking lot playing with her keys.

"Hey, Fay! How are you? You seem dull!" She asked looking at my sullen face and puffy eyes.

"Nothing, I am alright." I lied knowing that she will break Ezra's bones if I tell her what happened last night.

"ughhh! Don't tell me that jerk hurt you again, if so then I am going to break his neck once and for all." See this is the reason I don't want to tell her.

"Stop it, Joanna! Ezra didn't hurt me in fact I didn't meet him at all." I lied again so smoothly that I am afraid I am going to live my life telling lies. I shuddered at that thought.

"you Are so bad at lying Fay so don't even try lying for that prick." She glared at me.

"I am sorry! I don't want you to get angry at him and from today I am going to ignore Ezra's existence in my life. So don't worry." I assured her this time she can hear my sincerity through my words and eyes.

"I know Fay it's just I care for you and I don't want to see you hurt that's it." Her tone softened and gave me a small smile.

I returned her smile before dragging her towards the entrance of the building to start our day.

Throughout the classes, my thoughts were revolving around Ezra and his reaction when I ignore him and it's for the best for him and me because he can't leave her, and I don't want her in between us. So it's better that I remove myself from his life.

Joanna and I have the same classes and now we are in our last class of the day and I am dreading the after class because I know for sure that Ezra will be here to pick us up precisely her.

Bell rang pushing me out of my thoughts and the dread came back making me all nervous and anxious. I don't want to see Ezra, why is this so hard.

"Fay! Are you not coming?" Joanna asked getting up from her seat.

"umm, yes! Sorry." I said getting up from my seat too to go home.

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"We don't have any assignments so can we just hang out at the pizzeria for some time before we go to homes?" Joanna asked cheerfully without noticing my nerves which are ready to burst. I am tempted to decline her offer but it's been so long that I didn't hang out with her.

"yeah! Sure, let's go. We can take some time for ourselves." I said giving her an assuring smile.

"Yayy, thank you, Fay it's going to be so much fun and we can eat our favorite pizza too." Joanna is filled up with so much positive energy and enthusiasm.

We have left our classroom and already standing at the parking lot ready to take off.

"what is going to be fun? And where are you going without taking me with you! Hmm?" I heard a voice that I never wanted to hear at all today or tomorrow or even the day after tomorrow but my luck is not on my side.

I stood there with a straight face not showing any emotions on my face because there are so many things going on in my head and heart.

Hurt, anger, jealousy were burning inside me seeing her on his arm and them standing together like a perfect couple in love.

I hope I keep my cool, if not I am going to push someone so hard and break their noses.