In Love With My Boyfriend’s Brother

I even get excited about the idea, but I don’t make it that obvious. The problem is that I don’t trust him anymore, he might mess up again, as he has already done. So I say: ”I just think, you’d better stay out of this Yan, please.” He still looks at me confused. Did he think that coming here to promise me all this would change my mind and make me like him again? He’s quite wrong about that. Well, if he did, he thought wrong. He takes another deep breath. He takes a few steps back and turns around, looks at me, and says: ”Is that what you want? Do you want me to stay away from you?” I wipe my eyes for a moment. I’m not up for a scene today. Then I just shake my head in the affirmative. He looks sad to me now. He goes toward the stairs, I don’t even look and close the door. The problem is that as soon as he leaves I burst into tears. Seeing him just makes me remember everything that happened and I feel horrible again. … One week later… I still can’t get used to this routine without Matt and without talking to him. My cell phone rings. I’m in no hurry to answer it because I’ve given up hope that it’s him calling me. I put my bag with my college books on the couch and reach for my cell phone. My biggest surprise is when I see that it’s Matt. My heart leaps in my chest, I take a deep breath and answer: ”Matt?” ”Oh, hi Sky.”

My heart speeds up even more, but I try to sound calm: ”How are you?” There is a short silence and he says: ”I’m just calling to let you know that I’ve put your things in some boxes and am sending them to your apartment.” I didn’t see that coming and ask: ”What do you mean?” He doesn’t answer, he just takes a deep breath and I continue: ”Matt, for God’s sake, we need to talk!” He just looks apathetic when he says: ”We’ve already talked Sky.” But I insist: ”No! You need to come over here and talk to me…” I hear Megan’s voice: “Matt, do you want me to buy coffee?” My anger is clear as I hear her voice and I question: ”What is she doing there? Does she happen to live with you now?” He just says: ”Megan is helping me a lot and…” I interrupt him: ”It sounds like she’s been helping you for a long time, doesn’t it?” ”Don’t talk about her like that, you have no right.” He stops and takes a deep breath. I hate itself, I want to finish her off now. He says: ”Listen, I won’t deny that she tried to kiss me on one of our trips…” ”I knew it!” ”I didn’t break up! Nothing happened, I didn’t allow it, and do you know why? Because I had a girlfriend and I loved her too much to do something like that!” I’m speechless. Loved her? ”Matt…” ”I already explained the reason for my call, so goodbye Sky.” I’m out of breath now. He adds: ”And please… Don’t look for me anymore.” The ground seems to be opening up under my feet. Sometime later my things are delivered in two boxes to my apartment. I don’t even open them to check. I sit on the couch and stare at the boxes in front of me. It’s like it’s living proof that Matt is not coming back to me, I’m not going to his apartment anymore, and I’m not going to be a part of his life anymore. I wanted to cry, but I don’t think I can even cry anymore. … … A few days later… I have been feeling so empty and this feeling accompanies me in college, at work, at home, always. Lucy certainly notices this and while we are having coffee, she asks: ”Are you still feeling bad about Matt?” I look at her as if my sadness already affirms it. She takes a long sip of her tea and says: ”I don’t want to discourage you, but I hear he’s been seen a lot with Megan.” Lucy has mutual friends with Matt and hearing this makes me sad, but I should expect that. ”I’m not saying this to make you sad friend. I just don’t want you to be like this.” I laugh weakly and say: ”I know. It’s just that it’s still hard.” She says: ”I understand.” We continue drinking our tea. She interrupts my mental tour of the nights I went out with Matt to some restaurants I loved. ”What about his cat brother? I hear he left.” This takes me by surprise, I hadn’t heard or wanted to talk about Yan all these days. ”I know he was the cause for you guys breaking up, but don’t you.” I twist my face. ”Can we not talk about it?” She smiles and says: ”Of course. Forget it.” She finishes her tea and says: ”I’ve got to hurry that process along, I’ll go ahead. Are you going to be okay?” I smile to cheer her up. ”I’ll be fine, I’ll be there in a minute.” She kisses my forehead and leaves. A few minutes later, I finish my tea. I’m looking at the street through the glass of the door and see a guy passing by on a skateboard. I don’t like the way I feel. … ”I’ve been dreaming about this all this time…” I question: ”That what?” Yan smiles biting his lower lip and says: ”Take your clothes off again.” I can no longer stay away from his lips and only then do I realize how much I have missed it. His hands come down slowly and squeeze my ass, a moan escapes my mouth and he smiles on my lips. And I love it when he smiles like that. He slips his hand inside my panties and I know I’m lost again. He kisses me slowly and sensually biting my lips driving me crazy again as he says between kisses: ”I love you Sky.” I wake up sweating and sit up in bed. My heart is racing. ”What the hell!” I get up to get a glass of water. In the kitchen with my glass in hand, I stand for a while leaning against the sink behind me. Ever since I heard Lucy say that Yan left, I’ve had repeated dreams about him. I hate it, and I hate it even more how I wake up afterward with this horrible feeling that I don’t know what it is. I don’t feel that anger anymore that I used to feel when I remembered him, and seeing that guy skateboarding past almost every day at the same time, in front of the place where I drink coffee, doesn’t help me not to think about him. But I don’t want to think about Yan. I don’t. … ”I’ll see you tomorrow, kitten.” Lucy says goodbye to me and I wait for my cab. I decide to go to the confectioner’s to get a cupcake. I leave quickly because I see my cab coming, but as I leave quickly, I don’t look both ways, so I just feel a guy almost fall on top of me. He asks me if I’m okay and after the scare passes I tell him that I am. He smiles. He has a beautiful smile and his blue eyes match that smile too much. He then picks up his skateboard and moves on. Further ahead he looks back. The taxi driver is waiting for me and I follow in his direction. For the first time in many days, I feel a slight urge to smile.Belonging © NôvelDram/a.Org.