It Happened Last Year

Daniel does not come on the hike with us, and I cannot figure out why. It is not like he would share anything with me, but possibly Jordan, so that is our plan. We send Jordan to figure out what’s up then we fix it-if we can. I am positive that whatever has Daniel in a mood is beyond anything casual, as showing any emotion at all is not his thing.

Maybe him and his girlfriend-the one I imaginarily assigned him-have broken up. Not that I care. . .

“He’s upstairs in the master bedroom,” Taylor tells Jordan as we stand at the bottom of the staircase, “just go ask if anything’s up.”

“Maybe he just wants to be alone,” Jordan says, clearly hesitant.

“Well, at least we’d know then,” Jana says. “Let’s just find out, and by let’s, I mean you.”

Jordan reluctantly climbs the stairs, and once we cannot see him anymore, the three of us wait in the living room. All we can do for now is guess.Text property © Nôvel(D)ra/ma.Org.

“Maybe something happened with his family,” I suggest.

Jana shrugs. “Maybe. I’ve never really been around Daniel for so long, so maybe this is normal for him.”

“Maybe we should just wait for Jordan to come back before making assumptions,” Taylor says. “It could be anything, we could be guessing forever.”

I lean back on the couch, sinking down. It is the last day at the cabin and the last thing I wanted was to be restrained from staring at Daniel stealthily. Just because I want to no longer like him, does not mean I can’t enjoy the view. It is one of the things I am happy to have back-being able to admire someone physically. Daniel is my current favorite to admire. Hopefully, there will be others I find attractive, I need to spread my staring out over many people so it is not as obvious.

My thoughts make me smile, almost laugh a little. Jana looks over at me. “Why don’t you find out what happened? I’m sure he’d love to tell you.”

I glare at her. “We’re over all of that. I told you that I don’t like him anymore.”

“Correction, you said you wanted to stop liking him, not that you did, lair.”

Like two children, we carry on until Jordan appears. Taylor stands up, signaling to us. “So?” She questions and Jordan shrugs.

“He seemed normal. He just said he was tired.”

Jana groans. “That’s obviously a coverup.”

“I think we should just give him some time. Let him relax and whatever. He’ll be good tomorrow,” Jordan says.

One night, back in Florida, Lila wanted to go to a gathering at the beach. She told me that people from school were going, so I agreed. I snuck out of my bedroom window-thankfully my father had a one-story house-and Lila was waiting in her car out front. She drove to the beach we usually hang out at, so I was not nervous.

When we arrived, I noticed not only students from my grade but seniors and some college kids. Lila seemed fine with it all, and I knew I had to put on my facade, my Floridian persona also known as Daphne. As her, I felt a bit better, but still not right.

I want to introduce you to my friends, Lila told me before leading me through the tiny crowd. Most people were laying in the sand talking, laughing, some even drinking. Lila brought me to a couple of people, the ones looking rather older, college students. I wondered how she knew college kids, as she was in the same grade as I.

Lila introduced me, and I smiled-I have never been good at introductions-then we sat down in the sand with them. There was a small fire nearby, started by people around us, and it gave me some light to see who exactly I was with. Obviously, no one I recognized, but I was curious anyway. I sat quietly beside Lila as she smoothly conversed about whatever troubled her, not wanting to contribute at all. At the time, I simply wanted to go home.

One of the guys sitting with us began to talk to me, yet my answers were short and boring.

So you’re not from here? He asked.

No.

Do you like Florida?

Yeah.

What’s your name?

Hailey.

Do you want to feel better? He asked and caught my attention. You look a little down.

What do you mean?

Have you ever gone cliff jumping?

Clearly, I hadn’t, and I do not know why I followed the stranger as he lead me up to the jumping point. Lila and the others were with us, falling behind but with me overall. The guy, whose name I never learned, motioned for me to come closer to the edge, and I did, and I looked down. I could see the waves rushing up then colliding with the base of the cliff, and it made my heart race. Lila’s laughs held onto me like a rope, reminding me where I am exactly, and how close I am. One or two steps and that would have been it.

Careful, Hailey, Lila called out to me, distracted.

My surrounds fell silent, but in that moment I didn’t care. I was engrossed in the picture below me. The water must be cold-salty, cold, and black. At that time Mr. Russ was pressuring me to make my decision, my father was having conversations with his wife about Canada, and I was looking for a place to belong.

While I stared down, hair blowing in my face, two hands gripped my shoulders causing me to jump. My minor heart attack was followed by laughter. The guy had scared me.

Come on, let’s go back down, Lila said and started on her way back to the beach. The others trailed behind her, but I didn’t want to leave.

Looking down, all I could think about was my options. I could either jump or not. That’s it. One or the other.

I could have stayed home, I could have stood in the living room instead, I could have ignored Harrison, I could have stayed downstairs, I could have demanded to leave, I could have done something. One or the other.

I chose all wrong.