Love Aint Always Pretty

Chapter 46: 46 Sarang

Sarang (사랑)

- (n.) love; lit. "I wish to be with you until death."

Origin: Korean

NICK'S POV

EIGHT YEARS AGO

I parked the car and we got back home to where we should be. This was our home, temporarily, but we'll find a place to call our own when we have the money. Maybe just an apartment or stuff like that. The party wasn't what we exactly expected it to be.

"I'm sorry." Catherine speaks to me.

I opened the front door for her and we got inside the house. I placed the car keys down and starts unbuttoning my jeans.

"You don't have to be sorry." I say.

All of a sudden she hugged me from behind. "I'm sorry about what my father said to you. He just went too far."

I exhale.

"Why didn't you tell me about Hans? You're still together?" I asked her

I feel her arms slightly pulling away from me. I know she's guilty of what I found out. I don't know if they were still together or not but I'm so jealous. I'm so mad. I'm not mad at Catherine but I'm mad at myself cos I'm not good enough for her. Mr. Forster was right, I could never top that guy cos he looked almost perfect.

"Nick I don't love him. My parents just wants me to be with him for business."

I turned around to face her. Her beautiful blue eyes was looking at me eagerly, as if they were speaking to me too. I know she's telling the truth. I know she loves me.

"I just feel so small of myself after I saw him. I'm not.... I'm not good enough for you. Did you see the way he looks?" I asked.

"I don't care if his wallet is bulging with money or has plenty of credit cards. I don't need that. I don't need money. I need you."

I kissed her forehead and slightly hugged her. "Let's go to sleep Catherine. I'm tired and I'm sure you are too."

We headed to the bedroom and started sleeping in our underwear. I let Catherine sleep over my bare chest, while my mind was still thinking about Hans. I couldn't sleep. I look at Catherine and her face makes me feel I don't belong on her world and she clearly doesn't belong in mine. What if her father was right? What if I can't no longer support Catherine financially in the upcoming days? I need to have a job. Even though it's part time, that'll be enough for me and her. I need to make a living for the two of us.

•••••

"Shall we go buy fruits?" She asked.

I look at her while she was cooking lunch for us. I love watching her cook and help her. I do the slicing of spices mostly.

"Sure." I say.

We had lunch together and we acted as if nothing happened last night. I acted as if I wasn't bothered about Hans. I acted as if her own father didn't offer me money so I could stay away from her. I didn't tell Catherine about it cos I don't want her to hate her father because of me. Eloping together is already sinfully wrong. I don't know why they're not doing anything yet to find her or us so as long as we still have time, we'll spend it together cos we're not sure about tomorrow.

We went out and walked around town to buy fruits. Catherine loves fruits, most especially orange. No wonder she's an orange lover and now I'm starting to love orange because of her too. She bought a few apples and bananas and more orange.

"You'll turn orange on that." I joked.

She laughs while putting the orange back to the shelf. "I'm kidding love. Put that back here." I say.

We went out to buy a cheap fruit basket too then she wanted to buy curtains but I know she's too allergic to dust that's why I told her we don't need curtains. My money is almost running out and hers as well. I wonder how we're gonna get through this together. I hope she won't get tired of me.

When we got back home, we hurriedly washed the fruits, dries them up and placed them over the fruit basket. It was placed on top of our dining table and Catherine looked so happy when she placed it there. I love it when Catherine is happy. I love it when she is smiling. I love it when it's because of me.

"I still think we need curtains." She says.

I kissed her temple. "No. I don't want you get to all sneezy here."

She laughs.

"And I'm a lazy washer. So no." I added.

She laughs again. "I'll help you wash."

"It's okay. We don't need new curtains."

She smiles at me. "We're clearly doing great Nick. Aren't we?"

I nod.

"As long as I have you, I'll be okay." I tell her the truth. From NôvelDrama.Org.

"And as long as you're here, my life is already complete." I added.

I grabbed her cheek and planted a kiss over her lips. We kissed for a while we were standing. Feeling Catherine's warmth in my mouth when we kiss like this is the best thing that I could always feel. I won't get tired kissing her lips. I won't get tired even if I'm tired cos my day didn't turn out great. I won't get enough of Catherine.

All of a sudden we hear a rushing sound of knock from the front door that got us surprised. Both of us quickly rushed to it, only to find Alec panting and sweating.

"What's wrong man?" I asked.

He takes a breath, holding up a hand to tell me he needs air.

"You okay Alec?" Catherine asked.

"Nick. Your mom." Alec speaks while panting.

Holy shit. "What happened to mom?"

"She was hit by a car!" Alec spilled out.

Catherine gasped.

My heart just stopped beating for a second when I heard what Alec just said. It's unbelievable. I don't want to believe it at all. No. This is not happening. Who could have done this?

"Dude. Stop slacking we gotta go come on!" Alec pulls me.

The three of us ran towards Alec's car and he hurriedly drove to the hospital where my mom has been taken. My tears are filling my eyes as I sit on the backseat with Catherine. She's rubbing my back. She's telling me everything's gonna be okay. She tells me I need to be strong for Tracy. Oh god Tracy. I try to hold back my tears. I run my fingers through my hair and my heart is just beating ridiculously fast.

The second we arrived at the hospital, we rushed to the emergency room. My hands are cold and my heart is beating even faster. Tracy ran towards me when she saw me. She was crying hard. She was crying on my shoulders and I tried to be strong for her.

"Where's mom?" I ask her.

"She's still inside." She sobs.

I kissed Tracy's forehead and suddenly I see a doctor and a nurse exciting the room.

"Time of death.." the doctor gazes at his watch. "4:55PM." I hear him say.

No.

NO.

NO!!

"Cause of death, vehicular accident and internal bleeding." The doctor says again.

It's not my mom.

No.

The doctor pulled his head up and looked to us. "Relatives of the patient Melissa Colin?"

My heart is pounding with pain as I take a grip tight on Catherine's hand. I see her crying too and I don't think I'm ready to hear what I have to hear. The four of us went closer to be doctor and I'm getting weak and weak every step closer to him.

"We are terribly sorry. But she didn't make it. We did everything we could." He says.

"No!! That's not possible!! Mom! I want to see my mom!! She's not dead! It's too soon! No!" I went hysterical as my tears brimmed out from my eyes.

Catherine is holding me. Catherine is hugging me. Catherine is crying with me. I'm weak. I'm so weak. I'm losing it. But I'm crying even more. Catherine is giving me strength. Tracy is crying too while Alec was holding her. My mom. My mother. She's gone. She's dead. I fell on the floor with Catherine. She's still holding me. She's still telling me that I need to be strong. She's still kissing my forehead.

"No.... Mom!" I cried.

"We are so sorry. We tried to revive her back but she was already dead on arrival. We are sorry." The doctor says.

I think I'm going to lose my mind. I think I'm going to lose the ability to think straight. I'm only sixteen and Tracy's only twelve. I don't know what to do. Were still young. I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready.

Why did this have to happen? Why did this have to be my mom?

My hands are shaking but Catherine is holding it. My body is shivering in fear and anger but Catherine is hugging me close to her and telling me she won't leave. My heart is breaking but she's trying to put it back into pieces and patch it up. I'm breaking into pieces but she's fixing me.

"Nick.. I'm here. Don't worry. I won't leave you." Catherine whispers to my ear.

"Catherine... My mom. My mom. My mom." I repeat over and over again.

"I'm here. Don't worry." she kisses my temple.

•••••

The following morning, Catherine and I went to the police station to ask for trails about who hit my mom while Alec and Tracy were preparing mom's funeral. I still haven't talked much since yesterday. I'm still trying to sink it in that my mother is gone. Catherine holds my hand while we walk inside the station. My heart is thumping on my chest cos I don't know if I'm ready to hear what the detectives and policemen would tell me. Everything that happened yesterday was too fast and now they have the leads of who killed my mother.

"Are you Nicholas Wilde?" This tall man with an all gray hair asked me.

I nod.

"I'm detective Connor." He extends his hand to me and I accepted it.

"Are you Melissa Colin's son?" He asked as I pulled my hand away.

I nod again.

"Base from our witness, she saw the whole thing that day. Do you anyone that drives a blue Volvo?" He asked.

My brows are creasing as I try to remember anyone I know who drives a blue Volvo. I try to remember who drives a blue Volvo around this town but I couldn't remember anything. I don't know anyone. I shake my head in response. I look over to Catherine whose eyes widened.

"What's wrong Catherine?" I asked her.

"B-blue Volvo?" She ask detective Connor.

The detective nods. "The whole car accident was planned. The witness said she heard the driver talking to someone over the phone and mentioned your mother's name before he got inside his car and hit your mother."

"He? So the suspect is a he?" I asked. My fist curls into a ball. I'm shaking again. I'm shaking cos I wanna know who killed my mother.

"Yes. She said the suspect wasn't from this town." Detective Connor added.

I hear Catherine gasping for air. Catherine is still shaking her head. "No. This can't be. No. No." She repeats like a mantra.

I look at her again. "Catherine what's wrong?"

She bends her head down and didn't answer me. She's unable to answer. I try to hold her close,

"Do you know anyone who drives a blue Volvo, miss?" He asked Catherine.

Catherine quickly runs out of the room and I hurriedly chased after her.

"Catherine!" I called out but she's not stopping.

I ran faster and reached for her wrist and pulled her back. She's crying. Her face is turning red and she's really crying. I wiped her tears away. I don't know why she's crying. Perhaps she knows who owns that car. Her eyes wasn't looking at me as tears filled them again.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

She pushes me away. "I need to see my father."

"Why?"

She shakes her head and covered her mouth with her hands. She's still crying. I try to touch her but she won't let me.

"I'm so sorry Nick." She says.

She runs away. I want to chase her but I know it's no use. What happened? What does she know? Did her father do this? I run my fingers over my hair and pulled it back.

This is fucked up.

This is so fucked up.

I'm so sorry Nick. Why is she apologizing?

Why on earth Catherine?

__________

SFTC:

Last Kiss - Mariah Carey