Mine for a Moment

“I’m so proud of you,” Mom says as she helps me pack, her gaze lingering on the painting supplies I set aside to bring with me. “I was worried you’d let your intellect and your degree go to waste, you know?”

I glance at my variety of acrylic paints, hearing the words she won’t say. She was scared I’d insist on pursuing a creative career, even though she’s reminded me over and over again that stability matters above all else. I once suggested that I’d love to paint professionally, and it upset Mom so much that I ended up moving all my painting supplies to the attic, where she wouldn’t have to see any of it. “Of course not, Mom,” I tell her, smiling weakly. “I’m excited to work with Ezra and Archer.”

Education was a gateway to my parents—law school and their resulting careers as lawyers allowed them to build an amazing life for Ezra and me, even though they immigrated here with nothing to their name. I get it, and I truly appreciate everything they did for us, everything they sacrificed. I just wish she wouldn’t be so dismissive of my art. I know chances are low that anyone would ever want to pay for my work, but I wish she hadn’t tried to shut my dreams down so desperately.Upstodatee from Novel(D)ra/m/a.O(r)g

I wish she’d believed in me, even if that belief came with a sincere wish for me to choose a safer and more predictable career path. If I didn’t think she’d prosecute me herself, I’d have told her I’m The Muse, the street artist the entire country seems to love and hate in equal measure, just to see how she’d react.

Mom tapes a box closed and looks up, hesitating. “Serenity Solutions has grown into a huge company,” she remarks, her tone cautious. “Are you sure you don’t want anyone to know Ezra is your brother? It’d be much easier if people knew, sweetie.”

I shake my head and remind myself that she has the best intentions. “Mom, we’ve spoken about this,” I tell her, my voice soft. “I never even told Ezra or Archer about my application because I wanted to do this by myself. I’d always feel like a fraud if I got in any other way, and I’m concerned people would just pander to me if they knew I’m the CEO’s little sister. I wouldn’t learn a thing because everyone would just go easy on me all the time.”

Mom looks down, her expression conveying barely hidden frustration. “I don’t want you to have to work twice as hard as everyone else, Serenity. Without the protection Ezra can provide, you will have to. It’s not like at college, where grading is anonymous and your work truly speaks for itself. At work, they’ll take one look at your curly hair and the color of your skin, and they’ll judge you harder than your peers. Despite my education, I’ve had to work twice as many hours as my peers for the same promotions, the same opportunities, the same salary. The same goes for Dad. It’s so rare to have an advantage, and I promise you, anyone else in your position would leverage it.”

I grab her hand, my thumb drawing circles across the back of it. “I’ll ask Ezra for help if I need it,” I promise her. “Let me try this my way first.”

She sighs and gently pushes my hair out of my face. “All right, honey,” she says, her gaze filled with uncertainty. “Just remember that you’re not alone. I know Ezra travels a lot for work, but you have Archer too. He will be there for you if you ever need anything, you know that, right?”

I nod, my mind drifting back to the way he held me last week. “I know,” I murmur, feeling oddly conflicted. Throughout the years, Archer has become more than just one of my brother’s friends—he’s part of our family. Except, he really didn’t feel like family when he wrapped his hands around my waist. “Honestly, if I ever actually needed help, I’d probably go to Archer first. Ezra would blow up at the mere thought of someone not treating me fairly, and he’s just far too petty.”

Mom bursts out laughing and nods. “Well, don’t let your brother hear that,” she says, her eyes sparkling with amusement. She looks me over, seemingly satisfied with my attempts to reassure her, and begins to pack a new box.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared to start my first real corporate job, and I am grateful that I’ll have both Ezra and Archer nearby if I need them, but I don’t want the first career steps I take to be laden with nepotism. I’d like to believe in my own abilities. That has to be enough.

I sigh as I pick up a frame, my heart wrenching at the sight of Theo’s smiling face, his arm wrapped around me. I haven’t seen him in the few days since he told me he’s dating Kristen, but not for a lack of trying on his part. He’s called me a few times, and he’s texted me every single day, apologizing over and over again for not telling me sooner and for not being able to move in with me like we’d planned. I know I should reassure him and tell him it’s fine, that I understand, but I don’t have it in me to pretend my heart isn’t breaking. It’s why I haven’t replied to any of Kristen’s texts either—I don’t want to have to lie and pretend I’m okay for her benefit.

I should leave the photo here, in my childhood bedroom, where I keep memories of the past. I know I should, but I can’t help myself as I carefully place the photo in the box I’m packing, my heart aching.

“Honey, I’m not sure why Theo and you aren’t moving in together anymore, but perhaps it’s for the best,” Mom says, her tone hesitant. “You’ve been so fixated on the idea of Theo that you never even bothered to give anyone else a chance. He’s a great guy, but I never thought the two of you would make a good couple. He never challenged you, and it always seemed like you treated him more like a brother than anything else.”

I grimace, realizing that I hadn’t been as sly about my feelings as I thought I’d been. Archer knew, and as it turns out, so did Mom. Who else knew? If it was obvious to them, then surely Theo must’ve known too. Perhaps he knew and hoped I’d get over it. Maybe he wanted to be with Kristen all along and held off because he knew how I felt. What if I was the one standing between them?

“We’re no longer moving in together because he’s dating Kristen and they want to live together.”

Mom’s gaze snaps to mine, and the pity I see in her eyes undoes me. It unravels the bandages around my tattered heart, my wounds reopening. Despite that, I smile in the most sincere way I can manage.

“It’s fine,” I tell her, my mind drifting back to the notebook I keep on my nightstand and the brand-new to-do lists I wrote down in it, each of them designed to help me get over Theo. “I have my whole life ahead of me, and it’s time I start living it.”

She smiles at me so reassuringly that I almost begin to feel guilty for the contents of one of my lists.

Almost.