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Chapter-26. Emotional barriers
[Xanthea]
"Luna candidate?" I mumbled to myself.
"Yes, the women in line to become the next Luna of the Prime Infernal pack. There are several potential Luna candidates. Each of my brothers has a woman they would want as their Luna. So, essentially, there are top three potential Luna candidates, and Nyssa is on top of them all, their number one choice."
I looked at Nyssa. She was bold, intelligent, independent and, above all, she was a strong alpha blood werewolf. I bet her demon wolf was stronger than the average in the Infernal pack. No wonder she was the top Luna candidate. Unlike me. I had none of those qualities. Not only was I just an omega, but I was also wolfless.
Even so, I felt a subtle dull ache in my chest as my heart sank under an uncanny weight.
I didn't need the constant reminder, but it was hard to ignore that a year was the most I had in my life if the triplets didn't decide otherwise.
But there were things I could not comprehend, no matter how deeply I thought about them.
Like, if the triplets needed heirs, then why did they marry mortal werewolves and they didn't even care if the mortal was alpha blood or not? They just wanted royal blood to bear their kids.
I was deep in my thoughts when Nesryn placed her hand on my shoulder.
"Hey, I hope what I said didn't bother you," she said.
I looked at her, confused.
"I hope my brothers have drawn clear lines of your relationship with them, right? You are just a breeder for them. I hope you know that they'll eventually have their lunas or a luna once the... well... when things go back to normal. And I say it just to save you from unnecessary future heartaches, because honestly, my brothers are not worth it, you know," Nesryn shrugged.
I had heard those words before, knew their meaning to heart, yet when Nesryn told them to me, my heart almost leaped out of my chest. I almost panicked, as if I had been caught doing something I wasn't supposed to do. I nodded, clearing the tightness that threatened to build in my throat.
"Yeah, yes. Uh... I know. They have made me well aware of my boundaries and limits. Of course," I said instantly, licking the dryness of my lips.
Nesryn's gaze lingered densely on me, and I cleared my throat with a quick gulp, trying to act as I normally did. But when Nesryn squinted her eyes, frowning slightly, I tried to change the subject.
"B-but if they needed heirs, then wouldn't a strong alpha female from the Infernal pack be a better choice than mortals?" I asked.
Nesryn looked at me as if I had said something taboo.
"If they haven't told you, I don't think I am in a place to say anything. But that's not important. What's important is since you can't have physical barriers against them, just create emotional barriers around yourself and don't let my brothers cross it, ok?" Nesryn looked at me with critical eyes.
"Yes," I nodded.
"Brilliant! Then you don't have to worry about anything else and just concentrate on healing. My brothers know what they are doing. We came here to see the High lady, right? Let's do that," Nesryn said, and I let out a subtle sigh, glad she was dropping the subject.
"Oh, Nes is here," the High lady looked at Nesryn as she walked closer to her bed. Even though the High lady didn't look at me, I lowered my gaze and stood aside in the background.
"How are you feeling now?" Nesryn asked, sitting on the chair beside the High lady's bed.
"Much better, honestly. All thanks to Raven and Nyssa. I feel so much better, and it doesn't hurt as it used to, so I don't skip my doses," High lady chuckled, looking towards Nyssa, who just smiled at her and shook her head.
Her smile was like the touch of gentle, warm sunrays to my heart, accompanied by a tranquil surge of happiness to see her in better health. A smile crept across my face as I peered at the floor. The weight of guilt that had settled on my chest, the worry that had been gnawing at my heart, finally lifted.
"Well, looks like you don't know, mother," Nesryn got up and strolled behind me. Holding my shoulders, she pushed me closer to the High lady's bed. "It was because of her hint and knowledge that Raven could create this new, less painful treatment plan for you. So a little gratitude to her won't hurt."
The High lady looked at me.
"Is that so?" she said.
"Absolutely!" Nesryn made me sit in the chair and stood beside me, placing her hand on my shoulder. "Don't you remember how she instantly stopped your coughs when your condition deteriorated? She is quite knowledgeable about stuff like this."
"Indeed, I remember. Thank you, Xanthea," the High lady said, reaching out to me.
Nesryn urged me to stand and go closer to the High lady.
I bowed, allowing her to place her wrinkled hand on my head as she stroked my hair gently. There was a soft, comforting flutter in my heart at her tender touch. "Truly, thank you, dear. I mean it. But I heard you were hospitalized as well. What happened? Don't tell me it was because of my sons."
"It wasn't because of them. Or maybe it was, I don't know. Well, I will let the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law have a nice long chat while I get my work done with Raven," Nesryn said, smirking as she glanced at Nyssa and left the room. I could feel Nyssa's gaze on my back as I sat on the chair beside the bed and summarized the whole incident with the carvera to the High lady.
"Shouldn't you be resting in your room, dear? I am glad you came to see me, but you look weaker. You were already too fragile and now have carvera poisoning? My dear, you still don't understand your role properly. If you did, you would have taken better care of yourself. I have heard carvera poison is a sworn enemy of pregnancy..." High lady said.
"She just came to see how you were doing, High lady. Raven says she will be fine by next weekend." Nyssa said before I could say anything. "Now don't stress about it. Stress isn't good for your health. Now, you take your medicine and rest. You'll have to take meds in two hours again."
"Ok. As you say, miss healer." High lady took the medicines from Nyssa's hand.
I corrected her pillows as she lied down. My eyes met Nyssa's for less than a second and sweats broke out on my forehead. Her aura was just as intimidating and overwhelming as the triplets.
"Thank you, dear. Both of you," High lady said, and I bowed once with a smile.
Just then, a nurse entered the room with a file. She showed it to Nyssa. Nyssa flipped through it and nodded.
"It took a week for these results to show. Keep them safely. Reading and analyzing this data will take time," Nyssa said before walking out of the room. "I'll inform Raven his most awaited results are here." "How is your leg now?" High lady asked.
"Much better," I said.
"Umm. Did the three of them accept you?" She asked, and I knew what she was insinuating to.
I lowered my gaze and nodded, clenching my fists over my thighs.
"Good. They are my kids, but even I can't predict their moods and actions," she said. "It's been years since we even talked properly. Something more than them asking me, 'how's your health now?' and me lying every time saying I was fine when in reality I knew I would be a little better if they spent a little more time with me. But I get to see Raven every day nowadays and so even though I get extremely bored staying in my bed, I want to stay longer in the hospital." The nurse placed the reports on the other side of the High lady's bed. Then she began sorting medicines and filling the empty vials.
"But I know the three of them are always busy, so I try not to disturb them. Immortal or not, in old age, parents crave their children's attention even more," she let out a sigh. Her eyes glinted with sadness and longing as she peered at the ceiling.
"They came to see you. You were unconscious back then, but I think they care about you a lot, High lady," I said. "All of them."
She looked at me and smiled slightly, brightening her ethereal features even more.
"Thank you for telling me that."
"Umm... pardon me... High lady, but... if you permit, can I come to visit you more often?" I stammered.
"I'd love that, dear, but I want you to concentrate on yourself and your healing. And on making your body stronger so that there you don't face problems while conceiving their kids," she said. "But yeah, if you feel bored like me, then feel free to visit me only if you promise not to nag about my health and my medicines because I wish to live beyond them as well."
I contemplated her.
"It must have been difficult for you... all these years..." I said.
"They have been traumatic. But I was only trying to joke about it... a little. I'd love to have company, except for healers and nurses and my colorful palette of potions. I might as well make an art out of them." High lady said. I smiled and then gasped.
"Actually, you could," I said, and the High lady blinked at me with pursed lips.
"Make art out of my medicines? Raven will throw me out of this hospital in a second," High lady joked again.
"Not out of medicine, but it could be therapeutic. Painting, writing, music, any creative work. It's not essential in the treatment plan, but when you feel better, these recommended activities can help you enhance your mood, boost your immunity and brain functions," I said.
"Really?"
"Yes. It doesn't have a side effect, but you need to do those creative works just for enjoyment. Even when they turn into a disaster, I hope you could appreciate that you created something."
She gazed at me, her eyes holding a serene shine.
"I would love to try it. Better to have a healthy laugh at your disaster than stare at the ceiling and get bored all day long."
"Next time I visit you, I'll prepare for it. Let's start with painting? What do you say?" I asked, my heartbeats turning excited with every word I spoke.
"I am already waiting for your next visit, sweety," High lady caressed my cheek.
I tried not to smile too brightly, yet I could feel my cheeks heat slightly as she told me about her painting hobby when she was young and how she eventually gave it up after her marriage and completely quit it after she had kids. A few minutes later, Mavka finally reached the High lady's room but stood behind me.
"Do you know, when Raven was young, I kept telling him to trim his hair, but he never listened? I thought he was just rebellious, but once when I asked him why he didn't cut his hair, he told me he wanted to look different from his brothers. He wanted to have a unique identity. The three of them formed their identities differently. So even when their faces are almost alike, you can easily tell who is who," High lady now talked about the triplets.
She truly loved them, and they too cared about her. So, I couldn't understand why they didn't give their family more time? They visited the Aile castle once a week, and that took for a short while at night. And most of the time, they were in their bride's room.
"I might have their photos from their childhood somewhere in the drawers," High lady turned to her other side, and I instantly got up and walked around the chair.
"Let me find it for you," I said, and she nodded once.This is from NôvelDrama.Org.
I looked into the drawers and found the photos of the triplets, maybe when they were in their teenage years. They looked completely identical with their shaved heads. I couldn't tell who was who. "Weren't they the cutest kids?" High lady said as I handed her their photo.
I nodded with a slight smile as she admired their photos with her eyes brimming with love for the three of them.
And for a split second I wondered if my mother would have looked at me with just as much love if she was still alive.