Chapter 55 Flashbacks And Deep Regrets
“My father was a bastard. A very big one.” Bryce muttered and Hera swallowed. She wasn’t used to such vulgar words but he was hurt so she would let him. If this is the way he wanted to express himself and let out all the pain, then she would encourage him as long as he felt better afterwards. “My mother and father were not always in love as I had imagined. They were forced to get married by their parents and had always pretended to be together for public eyes.”
“My dad was an abuser and a manipulator.” He said at last. “I didn’t know because mom was so good at hiding it. He would protray her to the world as someone who was mentally unstable and couldn’t put her shit together. She would cover her scars with dresses, wear heavy make-up and would smile to the media that she was okay. Everyone thought that her marriage was heaven on earth, but they didn’t know half the shit that happened at home behind closed doors.”
The more he spoke, the more he gripped her hands tightly. Hera felt his nails digging into her skin, it hurts but she couldn’t complain, she wouldn’t.
“When I turned twelve, I started to get a grasp of everything that was happening. Things suddenly became clearer. I started to understand most things that seemed hidden and that’s when I realized that not all was as it seems.” He rasped and lets go of her hand but as if working on instincts, Hera held onto him. She definitely wouldn’t let him go through all of this on his own. It was already bad enough that he was saying this to her because she could literally see the pain in his eyes.
Bryce on the other hand was grateful that she was there with him. He had thought that with time, he would be able to move past this but it only haunts him and every year, on that exact date, he relives that day over and over again.
“What happened to your mother?” She asked, still squeezing his hands gently.
“She thought that she could change him.” His stated and turned to face her, his eyes gauging hers to see her reaction but she remained unmoved.
“She loved him apparently and would not leave despite everything that he was doing to her. She thought that if she stayed then things would get better. She thought that since she bore him a son then he would finally learn to love her too.” He paused. And then. “He didn’t.”
“He did all sorts of sinful things to her Hera.” His voice cracked and his eyes reddened. “She couldn’t hide it any longer. She confronted him and decided to be more open about her feelings thinking that he would listen but he… he got upset and started hitting her. She passed out cold in front of me. She was pregnant Hera and she lost the baby.”
Hera felt her eyes getting misty. The tears had gathered and settled there.
“She never recovered.” He added and that’s when the tears fell freely from her eyes. She couldn’t hold it In any longer when she understood what he meant by his last statement.
“The doctors mentioned something about her bleeding internally. I was too young so I didn’t understand anything about medical terminologies but dad lied that mom had taken a fall and that’s why died. He was good at playing the victim so of course everyone believed him and a funeral was held on her behalf.” He paused briefly as though he had forgotten about something and took in a huge breath.
“We can stop here if you want-”
“No.” He answered sharply, completely cutting off her statement. “I don’t want to stop. I feel like I would drown if I should stop here without going further and I don’t want to drown Hera.”
She nodded her head at his remark as if urging him to continue.
“We got back home after the funeral was held.” He swallowed. “I remember it as if it happened yesterday. My dad came back home drunk and wasted that day with his friends and another woman. I believed that they had gone to the club and came back for an after party. I didn’t want to believe that he was celebrating mom’s death but it sure looked like it did because there was no better explanation for his actions. And it’s not like he loved her to be mourning over drinks so I concluded that he was happy being free and was celebrating.”
“I remember locking myself up in my room because it was too loud outside.” He continued. “The music died afterwards and moments after, someone came into my bedroom.” He swallowed. “He um… he was one of dad’s friends and he… I don’t know if he was drunk or doing it on purpose but he started touching me inappropriately.”
Hera’s hands flew to cover her mouth temporarily. The shock on her face evident. “Oh my goodness!”
“I remember screaming and crying and begging him to stop. I…” He trailed off which was followed by complete and total silence. “I begged him Hera.” Bryce looked at her and Hera noted the pain and vulnerability in his eyes. He was hurting. Just hearing him say those things had broken her that she couldn’t stop he tears as they fell freely.
She bawled her eyes. It didn’t happen to her but it felt as if she was sharing his pain.
“I begged him to stop. I screamed out my father’s name but he didn’t come and do you want to know what’s funnier?” He asked in an amusing tone but she wasn’t finding it funny.
“I called on him up there.” He said in reference to God. “I asked him to save me. I begged him to. My mom always told me about how he swoops in to save people. She made me believe that he was some sort of superhero and that I could count on him to come to my rescue whenever I was in trouble but he didn’t come. He deserted me.”
“I’m pretty certain that she called on him severally too but he never came. She believed he would but he show up and she died. I believed he would but he also didn’t come for me. Instead, I kept on loosing. I lost my mother and my Innocence.” He blurted out.
“And that’s why I never ever pray to him up there anymore. I have come to a conclusion that he has his favourite people in the world and sadly, I’m not one of them.” He added with a hurtful smile.
Hera didn’t say anything. Not because she didn’t want to but because there’s nothing she would say right now that’ll change his mind, especially if he was still in this state.
“And I vowed never to involve myself with any woman.” He told her truthfully. “Marriage, love and relationships are nothing but a complete farcade. I watched my family crumble in front of my very eyes so what was I going to expect if I should indulge in one? I would only be repeating the same circle because I do not even trust myself.”
“That is not true.” Hera disagreed. She wouldn’t let him degrade and blame himself for something that he had no control over.
“You are not your father. You are two different people and there’s no way you are anything like him.” She said in a bid to persuade him so that he burns that thought in his mind. “I have seen you Bryce. I know you. Maybe not completely but I know you well enough to know that you are different from him.”Please check at N/ôvel(D)rama.Org.
“But it still doesn’t change the fact that he is my father and you know what’s worse?” He asked and she shook her head negatively.
“It’s the fact that I still can’t forget it no matter how hard I try to. My father might’ve gotten what he deserved later on but I’m still the one who’s paying for everything that he had done. He ruined me and I took it out on you the other day. I’m so sorry.” He whispered painfully.
She pulled in him for a hug and they remained there. “I am not angry anymore Bryce. I have always forgiven you.”
Her words touched a nerve and he melted into her warm embrace. Maybe, this right here, was exactly what he had always needed.