The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.

Not everyone had the courage to tell the truth, most especially if they wanted to forget everything about that rumor. But Liam was different-he was willing to tell me everything. All I had to do was prepare myself and listen to him intently.

For that, I cupped his face, softly gave him a peck on his lips as I interlaced my fingers with his. “I promise,” I guaranteed. This was what I wanted. Whatever it was, I would forgive him with all my heart, as long as he would be all honest to me.

He drank from his iced tea, and I did the same thing from my glass before we faced each other again on the long couch. I focused on listening to him as soon as he opened his mouth.

“It was a long story, Diane. But to cut it short, I was celebrating my twenty-third birthday three years ago. Since my friends were bullying me for still being a virgin at that time, they brought a woman here in my condo-a damn beautiful and sexy girl.” He rubbed his palms against his face.

“Unbeknownst to me, my friends had mixed a high dosage of sex drugs in my wine. I should have been more careful, but I trusted them like they were my real brothers. I didn’t know how many milliliters did they put in my drinks, and as a result, I acted so wild and ended up having sex with the woman they brought. Actually, r-rape was the right term.”

He bowed his head before looking at me again. But this time, his dark-gray eyes were apologetically gazing at me. His Adam’s apple went up and down as he continued. Hesitation began to rear on his throat.

“My parents sued my friends for what happened. Since it was proven that I was also a victim, I was not arrested. But the rumor already spread in EGC and VGC like a wildfire that I was a drug addict, so it was one of the reasons why we flew to the States. Until now, it was still traumatic for me. But I wanted to live a normal life that I pretended I forgot all about it.”

“Gladly, Leandro didn’t know anything about this because he wasn’t a business-minded person way back then, and the rumor only circulated inside the two companies. Now, did your feelings for me change after hearing this?” Tears welled up in Liam’s eyes, slightly afraid of what would be my reaction.

Not breaking our eye contact, I immediately shook my head. “No, I just loved you more for telling me the truth. It wasn’t your intention to do that to her.”

Honestly, I was supposed to be in shock after hearing his confession, but I loved Liam so much that I wanted to understand him. Not even a single inch that I changed my views towards him. Not even a single chance that I would leave him because of what happened.

If you really loved someone, you would accept them no matter what-including their past. I could feel that Liam didn’t need anything right now except for my understanding and trust. 

Liam was innocent-I knew, and I could feel it. He raped that woman, yes, but it was all unintentional, and the shreds of evidence in the past proved that he was a victim too-that he wasn’t guilty of the allegation.

In just two days, he showed me how special I was to him. His love and affection could testify that he was irrefutably a good man who was loving me unconditionally. His care for me even extended to my mom and two siblings.

Everything that happened in the past would never be changed… and all that he needed right now was me beside him. And if my presence could make him feel a little bit better, then I would stay here as long as he needed me. I would never leave him.

Wrapping my arms around him, I felt that he rested on me for support. Soon enough, I heard my boyfriend slowly sobbing on my left shoulder, and it was piercing my heart too. Liam looked so vulnerable.

Today was the first time I witnessed Liam being dejected and weak. His stained past might have affected his present. “Hey! Cheer up, Liam. You still have me. My feelings for you did not change, not even a single inch. Okay?”

A part of me was blaming myself for why I had to make him remember the dark part of his life he was supposed to be leaving behind. “I’m sorry for making you remember everything.” It was all I could say to help him ease the suffering.

I was gently tapping and rubbing his back over our embrace as I felt his tight clasp on my torso, leaning for emotional support. His face stayed on my left shoulder, and I could feel his frequent shudders.

“Diane, God knows that I didn’t mean what happened. God knows how much I already repented for that sin. I might look strong on the outside, but I regretted everything my whole life. For three years, deep remorse had always slashing me out like a knife.”

“In fact, she’s one of the reasons why I came back here. I promise myself to search for her because I owed her an apology. I wanted to apologize to her personally, and if she wants to put me behind bars, I will accept it. I just wanted to receive her forgiveness over the heinous thing that I did.”

Liam couldn’t resist his sobs anymore. I could feel that he severely regretted everything that weaved in the past. I bit my lower lip again as if I wanted it to bleed. Rape was a serious offense, and I wasn’t sure if the woman he talked about would take it lightly even after a certain number of years. Wherever she was, I hoped that she had already moved on from what happened.

“Ssh, don’t worry! We will search for her, okay? We will find her, and when that time comes, I will help you apologize to her. You will not be imprisoned. You will never leave me, okay? I know in my heart that she will forgive you, Liam. We will do our best to convince her to forgive you,” I comforted him.

I just hope that she already found forgiveness in her heart by this time, whispered my mind. Then, I released my embrace over Liam. I was smiling while assuring him that everything would soon be alright.

Liam also smiled at me, but he continued to tell his story. I was relieved that I could see a bit of his dimple on his right cheek, then I used my thumbs to wipe away his tears.

“When I woke up the next day, she was no longer beside me. I must admit, Diane… she was drop-dead gorgeous, and I think I had fallen for her the night before that unjustifiable sin happened. But believe me, it was all in the past. You are the one I have now… and I will never take you for granted. Thank you for not leaving me after hearing this. Thank you for still loving me despite knowing how imperfect I am.” He pulled me closer before he gave me a long kiss on the forehead.This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.

“I know, and I don’t care about your past, Liam… no matter how stained it was. What matters is what we have right now. I believe you, and thanks for telling me the truth. I did not make the mistake of going out and asking you about what was bugging my mind earlier. I’m sorry for doubting you at first, and thanks for being so honest with me, I love you.” I was done saying those phrases, but he was still kissing me on my forehead.

It was true that communication was always the key to any relationship. Trust and understanding played their roles too. It was better that I talked to him directly rather than wait for days to nurture my absurd overthinking.

Now, I could be reassured because he was the one who told me the truth. Whatever gossip I would hear in the future, it would not matter to me anymore. It was Liam and me in this relationship together, as if us against the world. I would believe whatever he would say so.

There was one thing I never liked about what he confessed to me a while ago. He described that woman as drop-dead gorgeous and even fell in love with her. But it was all in the past now, so I knew for a fact that I shouldn’t be jealous. I had to convince myself that I was prettier than her.

But being faceless, how could I compare myself to her? How could I beat her memory in Liam’s head? I didn’t want to, but I became insecure again.

“No. I should be the one thanking you, Diane. Thank you for understanding me, for believing in me, and for not leaving me. Most of all, thank you so much for loving and trusting me. I love you too,” he said softly.

We locked eyes before he gently ran his fingers on my face while looking at me earnestly. He tucked in some of my loose hair strands at the back of my ears as he slowly crossed the remaining distance on our faces and claimed my lips.