The Glimpse of My Past

Liam’s P. O. V.

No way! Is this even real?

My heart throbbed so fast as I swallowed painfully. That explained why I got bewitched by that pole dancer so suddenly.

I couldn’t be wrong! She was the same woman Steve and the rest of our friends brought to my pad before. I would never forget that exquisite and angelic face that I loved right away the first time I laid my eyes on her while she was unconsciously lying on my sofa.

She was none other than Dayanara.

But I couldn’t get it. Why is she here? Did she decide to just become a club dancer because of what happened? Did she end up working here to satisfy the audience because of what I did to her? Did she end up selling her body too? Oh God, it was all my fault! Because of me, her dreams were shattered.

I raped her. I broke her. I tormented her. I ruined her.

And I knew that it was all unforgivable. What I did to her was ruthless, but I was ready to correct everything.

But how? Am I even worthy of a second chance? I could only imagine her tears while I was mercilessly destroying her naked body. She was squirming unstoppably with her wrists tied on my bed.

It was all too late for me to realize that she was constantly begging me to stop, but I was deaf to listen to any of her pleas. I was overpowered by drugs, and that was the main reason why I ravaged her body.

Something ached inside me at my realization. Something felt so wrong, while everything between the two of us got entangled in complete chaos.

Her life was crushed because of me. I couldn’t imagine the effect of rape on her. However, I didn’t want to give up now that I finally found her. If seeing her again means a second chance to rectify what happened, then I might as well grab the opportunity than do nothing. I guessed I had to believe in fate.

That was when I decided to make a plan. I would do anything just to make Dayanara feel happy and put a smile on her face in any way I could.

If Leandro couldn’t make her beam with delight, I promised to do that while making up to her for the rest of my life. Before I left the club and secretly waited for her, I asked the bouncer for Claire’s pole dancing schedule and found that her next shift would be on Saturday night.

I followed her from the time she went out of their dressing room until she got home, so I was able to know her exact address. I liked her being a conservative.

At least, she changed her sleeveless top and short skirt into a short-sleeved and knee-length red dress, making me think that she only danced there. I already hated the idea of other men fantasizing about her, how much more when they were having sex with her? I shook my head to clear my mind from these nonsense thoughts.

The subdivision guard even stopped me, but I just told him that I was Dayanara’s classmate. Assuming that she was still studying, I explained that I was only making sure that she would reach her home completely unscathed.

The guard gave me a lopsided grin and told me that he would only let me pass through the gate just this time, and he would accept no excuses the next time. I thanked him, and that motivated me to apply for the homeowners’ car sticker at the soonest possible time.

Dayanara’s house was a nice and simple bungalow. They even had a second floor. They lived in a quiet and secured subdivision, so maybe, she was raised in a good family too.

With these assumptions, I still didn’t get how Steve and the rest of my friends got her on the night of my birthday. Was she already a dancer before? But it doesn’t make any sense. She doesn’t look like a club dancer before, even now. She was still a beauty as she was.

Dayanara was the only woman who captured my heart, and my feelings for her were far beyond what I felt for Isabelle way back in America. But the problem was… like Isabelle, Leandro also liked Dayanara.

Of all men, why does it have to be my brother? But, can I give up Dayanara for the sake of Leandro? I guessed the answer would be no. He doesn’t know the fact that I came first. Just in a dreadful time, yes… but still, I got to know her first. Not to mention that I even got her the first time I saw her. 

When I reached home, I lied to Leandro that I had just arrived from the States and ended up diverting the topic for him to get the things that I bought. I was here for two weeks already, though this was the first time I stepped into our mansion. I was actually staying at my condo, killing my time to plan the search for her… only to be brought to her by my own brother.

A few nights later, on a Saturday night, I left a bouquet of red roses with a calligraphic printed note in front of Dayanara’s gate. I even saw her teen brother, who dropped his jaws off the floor while never leaving his eyes from my black convertible. When I saw her opening their gate, I immediately drove away.

If only I could offer her a ride, I could have done that. The problem was… she doesn’t even know me. I was a stranger to her, so I didn’t have any right to ask her in the first place because I would only scare her for sure.

But it was fine with me to just watch her from afar. I would just make sure that she would be safe until she reached the club.

“Now that I found you, I will never let you go. Not now, not anymore.” -LContent (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

I meant everything that I said in that simple note. I needed to fix everything that I shattered three years ago. No succeeding plans on how to start it yet, but I would do anything for her and would never leave her again.

It was cowardice to just leave the Philippines before without checking on her personally. I knew it was hard, but I was hoping that she already found peace and forgiveness in her heart after three long years.

On that same night, I was about to leave the parking lot of Lucy’s Club after watching her dance number when I saw Dayanara avoiding Leandro. That was when I deliberately opened the door of my car in the front seat. It was for her to climb inside, and I was not wrong at all because that was what she did.

But hell, damn it! She was so naive. I didn’t know how I would react if she went inside a different car! Knowing how men fantasized about her based on how they drooled towards her, something bad could happen to her.

History might only repeat itself, and what could happen again would actually be the same imprudent thing that I did to her three years ago. But since I already came back here, I promised to always protect her.

We were both stunned when we stared at each other. Perhaps, because she had mistaken me for Leandro… while I couldn’t avert my gaze away from her because she was still very beautiful. A head-turner.

She had a mesmerizing pair of brown and expressive eyes, a not-so-pointed nose, and luscious red lips. That said, I could no longer control myself. For the second time around, I felt the same attraction to her as to how it enveloped me three years ago.

Like before, I fell in love with her in a matter of seconds.

And that was the start of everything-the beginning of a second chance that I prayed. I thought that I would be able to tell Diane the whole truth as soon as possible, but it seemed like she couldn’t remember anything at all.

But why? What happened to her? Was she traumatized before?

It was all my fault, and I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself. It was right for me to take all the blame because I was the villain here. In fact, I purposely told her the rape incident while trying to emphasize it in the way that she would at least have a hint that I was talking about her. But still, she ended up not even having a single clue.

Meeting at the wrong time and having a damnably hell start already complicated the things between the two of us. It was as if taking away my right to fall in love and be with the one I loved.

Unexpectedly, Diane gave her sweetest ‘yes’ to me in just two days… and that made me even more reluctant to tell her what she must know. My chest felt so heavy, knowing that I was actually depriving her every right to know the truth. I was lying to her, and that made me realize that I was even worse than Leandro.

But, how could I? How could I tell her everything without ruining her life the second time?

For the first time in my life, I couldn’t think straight. I just looked at her face because just by looking at her was already a miracle. Just being beside her was already a blessing despite what happened. For that, I slightly moved my upper body, adjusted my head, and gave her a soft peck on her plump red lips.

I don’t know why it seems like you didn’t remember anything, but I can’t afford to lose you, Diane. I love you so much! I’m sorry if I have to be selfish for now, but this is not yet the right time for you to know what happened to us in the past.