The Glimpse of My Past

Diane’s P. O. V.

“Hey, will you please relax? Of course, how can I forget you? You, witch! You looked like going gaga over my transformation, duh! Has anyone had an accident who still looked as beautiful as this?” Lorenz rolled his eyes and asked me using his girly voice.

Then, he cleared his throat while still looking at me. “Hmm, I mean… has anyone had an accident, who still looked as handsome as me?” Lorenz easily transitioned his voice into a manly tone, and it was the first time I heard of it. He even gave me a wink before drawing a sultry smile on his lips.

If I hadn’t known that Lorenz was gay, my underwear could have fallen straight to my feet with how he responded to me. He looked so manly, attractive, and striking. Now, I couldn’t blame those women who arched their eyebrows at me the moment I called him sissy.

But despite everything, my left palm still hit his right shoulder. “Hey, Lorenz! Will you please tell me the truth, huh? I’m confused about you. And please, don’t you dare wink at me again! Oh my God, I’m trembling. Hadn’t the people here know that you are feminine by heart?” I asked him with frowns occupying my whole forehead with my eyes still in shock.

He was silent, but after a few seconds, he spoke with his manly voice. It looked like he already forgot his past life of being gay at all.

“Well, I’m sorry for lying, Diane… but it was you and Karen, as well as the professors, and the students in our school, who doesn’t even know my real sexual preference. You didn’t know who I really am-that I am really a straight guy.” He paused for a while before he continued.

“Did you see how people reacted at the ground floor earlier? They were surprised as hell the moment you called me sissy! Should I thank my fate that Karen was not even with you? You’re too loud, bestie!” he explained at the same time loosening his tie, which seemed to be strangling his neck.

Wow! What did I run myself into? Lorenz was not an authentic gay at all!

Gasping for air, I didn’t know how to react to his confession that I just brushed my hair up and let it fall messily over my shoulders. What should I say? Lorenz had been our classmate and best friend for two and a half years. Yet, we didn’t even know that he was only acting and pretending to be gay all these years.

Reminiscing, I could still remember the day that Lorenz transferred to our university. It was the same day he sat beside Karen, who didn’t give a damn at first. But speaking of her, she seemed to have a problem when I talked to her over the phone last night. Did something bad happen to her?

Karen might have known me as her naive best friend, but I could hear that she was crying in short and sudden breaths. She was in pain, although she doesn’t want me to know about her problem. I just dismissed it for now and just prayed for her happiness because I had to continue my interrogation with Lorenz.

“I-I don’t get it, Lorenz… but why? Can you please help me understand? Why do you have to disguise yourself?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth. I had too many questions to ask him right now, but I didn’t want to offend Lorenz with my sometimes-careless mouth.

“Well, I’m sorry if I had to keep a secret from the two of you. It’s a long story, Diane… but to cut it short,” he let out a deep sigh before continuing what he was about to tell me, “I-I, hmm… I’m…” he stuttered before he avoided my eyes.

“You’re what?” I was quite excited and, at the same time, irritated. Either pretending to be gay or living a straight guy, Lorenz had always this tendency to hang people around with his statements, which I found really annoying.

He was still not looking at me. “I’m…” he almost whispered before biting his lower lip.

“Now, what? Please, Lorenz! I’m already running out of patience here.” Then, he looked at me as I continued. “Karen might not be here with us, but I could replace her from slapping you real hard! Try me, and I’ll do what I said,” I threatened while glaring at him.

“I’m in love with Karen! So, is that enough?” he revealed. Heat rose and stained his cheeks when another confession escaped from his mouth.

“What! All this time and yet, you didn’t even tell us?” I was unquestionably shocked by his revelation that it even made me slack-jawed. Silence reigned afterwards.

“But if you truly love her, then why do you have to lie to her? You should have told her from the very start, and you should not disguise as gay in the first place! Lorenz, of all people… you knew how we hate lies, most especially, Karen! You have two and a half years to confess, and you just wasted all those years!” I snapped at him.

“I-I didn’t lie to her, okay? I just chose not to say anything about it. But tell me… do I have a choice, Diane? Of all people too, it was you who definitely knew how Karen h-hates men!” The pain was evident as his voice cleft.

“Did you think that she would talk to me if I didn’t disguise as gay? I transferred to your school and shifted my course to Accountancy because of her! I didn’t know how to court, and that was the only way I could think of to get closer to her,” Lorenz continued with his cheeks still flushed, as his Adam’s apple couldn’t help but move up and down. I couldn’t believe that he was indeed a real man in front of me right now. I couldn’t even trace any of his gay acts.

The way the two of them talked together regarding lewd and sexual things before made me suddenly nervous as I thought of something else, forgetting to answer all of his queries. “Hey, Lorenz! Be honest to me… by pretending to be gay, did you ever take advantage of Karen!”

He frowned. “What are you talking about, Diane? And why would I even do that? Did you already forget that I was the one who always got beaten to death? I just wanted to get closer to her, talk to her and be with her every single day,” he reasoned out.

“That’s all I wanted, Diane. I pretended to be gay, yes, but I wasn’t a maniac stalker, okay? But you know what? I could be her handsome secret admirer!” He continued to disagree with me before a mischievous smile abruptly flashed across his lips.

Feeling guilty about how Lorenz felt, I ended up pouting my lips. My accusations against my best friend were quite exaggerated. I couldn’t help it, especially when I remembered how Karen was so trusting to him to let Lorenz hook her brassiere and things like that. How would she react when she knew that he was indeed a real man?

“I’m sorry for doubting you, friend! Hello, what do you want me to think? I still couldn’t believe it! In two and a half years, I couldn’t imagine how did you manage to carry girly stuff, put makeup all over your face, and even place some manicures on your fingernails?”

“Maybe because of my undying love for her? I am willing to endure everything, even being labeled as gay if that means I would be closer to her!” He answered with sparks in his eyes but with grief in his voice. I could feel his heartache of not telling Karen the whole truth.Content bel0ngs to Nôvel(D)r/a/ma.Org.

Then, I remembered something.