The Lover's Children

Chapter 118 – Autumn’s Fury – Part 10

GEORGIE

I know those footsteps…

Oh… God…

And then, the door is open…

And he's standing there…

Borje: a dark silhouette, framed by the harsh white light which spills through his silver hair like the aura

of the full moon.

His gaze drops to where, trembling, I find myself clutching at something. Belatedly, I realise it’s a spray-

bottle of some cleaner or other. The words tumble from my lips, spilling out in a tide of garbled

nonsense. “I didn’t mean to do it. Really. It was an accident. I knocked something and it fell. Then they

all fell. And I was trying to tidy them and…”

“Oh, Georgie…”

He strides forward, pulling me to himself, cradling my face into his chest, wrapping me in his embrace.

“Shhh… Calm down...” He cups the back of my head, stroking my hair. “It’s fine… We'll find a way

through it.”

My face pressed against him, weeping and shivering. “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry!” And I don’t know

what I’m sorry for. The mess I’ve made here. Or the mess I’ve made of my life. Or…

“Georgie, calm down...” He squeezes me. Then again, harder. “… It's alright.”

“It's not alright. I know it's all my fault and… Everything’s my fault and…” My words are swallowed once

more by sobs.

“Georgie!” For a heartbeat, Borje voice is sharp, even forceful. “ Georgie, truly. It's okay. Everything is

going to be fine. I'm with you.”

“But you won't stay with me. No one does.”

He unravels his arms from around me, pinning me by the shoulders to look me in the face. “I will stay

with you. We’ll work through this. Together.”

“Really?” I snivel, swiping my eyes with my knuckles, then my nose with the back of my hand.

Borje Tuts, hooking a napkin from one of the lower shelves. “Wiping your nose on the back of your

hand is very unhygienic…”

Then, examining the napkin, he sniffs, tosses it to one side and picks another one from a higher shelf,

pushing it into my hand.

“Yes, I will stay with you but…” He glances around… “… not in a hospital broom cupboard.” His voice

turns dry, but a smile cracks his lips. “If anyone found me in here with you, my professional reputation

would be in tatters.”

And finally, looking around at the anarchy I've created, I chuckle. “I've got to clear this up. I can't leave it

like this.”

“You can leave it exactly like this. We're leaving.” Opening the door a crack, he peers out, one way,

then the other. Then, grabbing me by the wrist, he tows me out into the corridor. He winks. “C’mon,

step lively. I don’t want to have to explain this.”

He lowers his voice. “If any of the cleaners winge about the mess or vandals, I'll make a formal

complaint about locking up hospital facilities properly and ensuring visitors keep their children under

control.”

One arm wrapped around my shoulders, he steers me outside through some side-door. “I’m guessing

you’d prefer not to run into anyone else looking like that.”

“I must look a mess.”

“Yes, you do. Let’s get out of here.

*****

My humour fades, replaced by the cold knot gelling in my bowels. Borje, driving, glances sidelong at

me, releasing the wheel long enough to squeeze my hand.

“Where are we going?”

“My apartment.”

“My car…”

“… Isn't going anywhere. Unless you're illegally parked?”

“No, just in the main parking lot.”

“Fine. I'll get you a visitor's pass tomorrow so you don't have to mortgage your soul to pay the fee.”

“You can do that?”

Lips twitching, he throws me a look sidelong. “In case you didn't notice, I'm a senior figure here. Yes, I

can do that. Meanwhile, you are coming with me, and we're going to have this out.”

My stomach clutches. “Have it out?”

He sighs, slaps a palm on the wheel. “I'll rephrase that. You and I are going to consume alcohol. Then,

we are going to talk. Then, we will keep consuming and talking until we figure the way through this.”

His fingers squeeze again. “I'm hoping that's what you want?”

Trying to be inconspicuous about it, I wipe a tissue over my runny nose. “Yes. It's what I want.”

“Good.” Borje gives me a sunny smile. “So, there's our first point of agreement.”

And my own smile blooms in return.

*****

In Borje’s lounge, he waves me to the settee, then ambles into the kitchen. A minute or so later, he

returns with a tumbler in either hand. “Brandy.”

Taking an armchair opposite, his gaze steady on me, Borje sips. Then setting his glass to one side, he

leans forward, elbows on knees. “Georgie, you’re trembling.”

Blinking back the prickle behind my eyes, I gulp at the brandy. It’s a good one. My Dad would like it.

Velvet heat washes down my throat, but oddly, cooling my still-swollen eyes.

“Georgie?”

As I stare into my glass, it wells up inside me again. The sob breaks loose. “I missed you. I missed you

so much.”

A sigh…

And a long release of air…

Then he’s beside me, his body close to mine, his arms around me. “What am I going to do with you?”

He pinches my chin, angling my face to his. “I felt wretched too. I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I’ve

cursed every word that came out of my mouth that day, time and again. We belong with each other,

Georgie. Whatever happens next, we’re in it together.”

“But if we…”The words catch in my throat, not knowing whether to be a cough or a sob… “…If we just

make each other miserable… Or…” I slump again… “… if I make you miserable…”

“Look, Georgie, why don't you stay here tonight…” I jolt alert but he holds up a palm…”Whoa… No

subtext there. I meant just what I said. Stay here with me tonight. I won't try to make a move on you.

But I'd like to be near you. And I’d like to have you near me.”

“I’d like that.”

*****

Borje’s apartment only has the one bedroom, the one bed, the large double where we first made love.

He tosses something to me, flopping into my hand as I catch it. “I can't supply nightwear, I'm afraid. But

one of my tee shirts will do for a nightgown for you.”

“Nightgown?”

“I promised you no sub-text. I meant it. I want to be your lover. But more than that, I want us to be

friends. And friends can share sheets without making each other feel awkward.”

The tee-shirt is roomy, hanging to my thighs. As I exit the bathroom, Borje’s eyes crinkle. “It suits you,

you know.”

He climbs into the bed beside me still wearing an undershirt and shorts. And he was right, his body

heat, the scent of him close by, soothes me.

“Borje?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thank you.”

He loops an arm over me. “Like I said, we’ll work it through.” He kisses my cheek. “Now get some

sleep.”

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I wake, staring up into darkness…

Not my bed…

Where am I?

Heartbeat accelerating, blind in the night, I sit up. Then my nose takes over from my eyes; the scent of

Borje beside me…

And as I look down beside me, a glint in the dark… two glints… say he’s looking up at me. “Georgie?”

“I… I woke up. I was a bit confused, that’s all.”

A sigh in the dark…

Then, he stirs, slipping an arm up to rest at my waist. “Lie down.” I slip down, and the arm tightens,

tugging me closer, then wrapping around my shoulders until I rest with my face pressed into his chest.

“Now, sleep. You’ll feel better if you rest properly.”

*****

… and the morning…

… and the sunshine…

Warm air bathes my face.

Blinking open, it takes a few moments to focus. In fact…

I pull my head back. Borje’s face is only inches from mine. As I reverse away, a cautious smile unblurs,

and a soft crease around glacial eyes “Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

He touches my cheek. “How are you feeling now?”

“Um… Better.” I inhale, let it out again. “No, actually, I’m good.” I rest my hand on the fingers stroking

my cheek. “Thank you. For yesterday. And for last night.”

Glacial ice thaws to meltwater. “No need to thank me. Friends. Remember?”

“Yes, I remember. And… Lovers?”

His lids lower… Then lift. “Is it what you want?”

“More than anything.”

He doesn’t speak, merely nods slightly, then leans in, brushing his lips over mine. The fingers on my

cheek press, cupping the flesh. “I have to go to work, but I’d like to see you this evening, so we can talk

properly. Is that alright?”

“Yes… Yes, I’ll be here.” Then, pushing the duvet back, “I’ll get out of your way for now.”

“No need. Stay there and sleep yourself out.” He twists, rummaging into a side-drawer, then presses

something into my hand…

A key.

A key?

“I’ll see you this evening,” he murmurs. “Let yourself in.”

“Thank you. I’ll give you the key back then.”

“No need for that either.” He curls his hand around mine, my fingers around the key. “It’s yours now.”

“You’re giving me a key to your apartment?”

His lips curve. “We’re agreed, aren’t we? Together.”

The moment holds…

“Yes,” I whisper. “Together.”

His smile widens, then he glances at the clock. “Damn!” And throwing his side of the covers back, he

rolls out of bed. “Sorry, Georgie, but I’m running late. Got a meeting. Gotta go.” He smacks a sharp kiss

onto my forehead, then marches smartly into the bathroom.

*****

Footsteps echo through from the lounge and the outer door slams. Silence falls.

I lie, flat on my back, propping my head with one arm behind me on the pillow. Slats of sunshine slide

across the ceiling, angling down the wall. At the bevelled edge of the mirror, light fractures into

rainbows, reflecting the rainbows inside my head.

A key.

He gave me a key.

Maybe I’ve not completely fucked up my life…

It's me.

I know it's me.

A new beginning?

Hauling myself to sit upright, I sip at the cup Borje left by the bedside, coffee working its magic, kick-

starting my brain.

I slant a glance at the clock.

I should get up. Go to work.

But, reluctant, in mind and body, I don’t move, except to curl fingers around the mug, to sip again.

I have to go to work.

No, I don’t.

Nothing’s urgent.

There’s nothing waiting for me that won’t still be waiting tomorrow. Nothing to be fixed that someone

else can’t handle. Not there, at least.

Decisive at last, I swing out of bed, padding through to the lounge, still wearing Borje’s tee-shirt.

Fishing my cell from my purse, I call work. “Lenny? I won’t be in today. I’m taking a personal day. Or it

could be two.”

Astonishment greets me. “A personal day? You, Georgie? You never…”

“I am today.”

Concern creeps into Lenny’s voice. “You okay? Is there some emergency? You’re not ill, are you? Or

someone in your family?”

“No, nothing like that…”

No, there’s no emergency.

All the things that need fixing are here.

In fact, just the one thing that needs fixing.

Me.

“… Everything’s fine, Lenny. I just have things to do. I’ll see you in a couple of days.” And I click off,

cutting out further discussion.

Yes… Things I have to do.

I have to change.

It’s time to change.

*****