#3—Chapter 17
“Are you on your period?”
I looked up at him with quizzical eyes. “Yes. How do you know?”
“You’re very much more sensitive than normal.”
“Were you monitoring me?”
“I live with you. Of course, I can sense when you’re not yourself.” He was back to his usual teasing self again, flicking my forehead with his finger. I winced and rubbed the sore spot before he took my forehead and kissed the pain away. Then he enveloped me with his big teddy bear hug.
He rested his chin at the nook of my shoulder, then pondered, “What I don’t understand is, what made you think you are plain? I get that you are more emotional than usual because of your period, but that doesn’t really hold water. There must be something else that caused you to be in this emotional state. If it’s not Kimberly’s doing, it must be the alcohol. How much did you drink, Jay? You’re more honest than usual.”
“I don’t know. Maybe a few.”
“Why did you drink?”
“Because I want to be your ideal girl.”
Giovanni threw his head back and laughed. All at my expense. The big doofus!
“Why are you laughing?”
“What kind of pathetic excuse is that? What made you think you’re not my ideal girl?”
“Because like I said before, I’m plain. You’re like the mesmerizing sun, whereas I am more like the Earth. I orbit around you. But in the end, that’s all I will ever be to you, your admirer, your fan. I could never fully stay beside you. Throughout eternity, I can only gaze at your aura as you provide me with sunlight and warmth. It’s the kind of love and comfort I could never call my own.”
“The fuck, Jay, why are you being so poetic?”
“Because it’s the truth.”
“Jesus fucking Christ! I feel like since living with you, I just can’t keep up with your little stories and analogies. But since we’ll be living together for a long time anyway, I’ll come up with my own analogy, too. You say I’m like the sun and you orbit around me, right? Well, I say I’m more of the moon. See that moon right there?’
He directed my gaze, and right there was the moon.
“Wow. So big and bright. How come I didn’t see it before?”
“Of course, you didn’t. Your eyes only focused on those tiny miniscule stars. Like when you keep spouting on about how beautiful and hot I am, comparing me to the stars, and how plain and boring you are, comparing yourself to the Earth. That’s one of your traits I find annoying. You only see what you want to see, not what’s really in front of you. If I didn’t direct you to see the moon, would you have commented on how bright it is?”
“No.”
“See. My point exactly. If you have a problem with something, say it out loud. I don’t play the fucking mind game. I’m a guy, Jay. I think more with my cock. I can’t understand what you’re thinking. Until you start acting weird like this. Sad like this. And it makes me fucking mad that I just can’t understand you better. Mad that I just can’t do anything in my power to make you smile again. Especially like now, when you’re on your period. I should have taken more care of you. Instead, I fly you across the ocean so you could meet my friends. How fucking amazing is your lover, huh?
“But I can’t do anything now to change the past, so let me try to make you feel better by clarifying a few misunderstandings here. Listen up well, Jay, cause I’m only saying this once. You say I’m the sun and you’re the Earth. Well, you’re wrong. That moon there is me. Do you know why I say this? Because that moon can’t get enough of this Earth. It orbits around the Earth every twenty-seven days. Over and over, again and again, until eternity. You say you’re the Earth that orbits around the sun; well, I say I’m the moon that orbits around you. Don’t you dare say you’re not beautiful. You are the planet that produces life. You are the gravitational force that pulls me in to you. You draw me in until I can’t orbit around the planet. You think you are plain and boring and a guy like me wouldn’t notice you?? Well, to me you are the most beautiful and interesting human being to exist in this world. If you didn’t have that charisma, that spellbinding effect on me, I would have kicked you out by now. I wouldn’t even let you be my maid.”Content from NôvelDr(a)ma.Org.
“What if in the future you find out I’m not the real Jennifer? Would you kick me out? You, yourself, know I don’t have that memory from the past.” I still needed answers for that particular question that brewed in my heart.
“Jay. Is that the root of the problem? Is that what made you so upset?”
I nodded, meekly replying, “Yes.”
His hands came to cradle my cheeks. I lifted my eyes to see his concerned face.
“Jay. Why do you constantly make me worry? Why do you always make my heart race? You break my wall little by little until I don’t have a protective barrier around me anymore. My soul is bare to you. You’re the only one who gets to see my real self, so I’ll tell you this now, so you don’t have to think about those stupid silly thoughts again. Jennifer may shape my past, but you are my present and future. You are what captures my attention now. You are what’s most important to me now. Even if Jennifer happens to be some other random girl, then it’s too late anyway because you have totally captivated my heart. You are the one who has totally intoxicated me, and you are the only one I will be totally devoted-”
I took his mouth, stopping him mid-sentence, kissing him with all I had. That was enough. He had declared his love for me. I didn’t need to hear anything further.
His scent was so consumingly intoxicating, I inhaled it and went high. He definitely was my drug. And I was so high up in the sky, I didn’t know what had come over me. I started tracing my lips down his neck until I reached that piece of flesh where his pulse hid. Right there was where I sucked, while mumbling words of delicious croissants and hot chocolate.
“What the fuck are you spouting again, Jay?” I heard his deep raspy voice ask.
“It’s you, Boss. You taste like those sweet croissants from Café Love Sick. I want you, Boss. I want to taste you again. Feel your skin against my tongue. Lick you up like those frothy bits from the top of my café latte. Why do you have to be so delicious? Why do you have to be so intoxicating, saying those words that makes me want to love you more and more?”
His voice rasped into my ear again. “You silly girl. Why do you have to spout that lame shit? My heart is already melting because of you.”
And he devoured me then, bringing my lips back to his mouth. Licking. Tasting. Teasing. My nerves went haywire, my body writhing in response. Then I was tipping, slowly at first, until my world completely toppled. And then…
I blacked out.