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The Christmas night is filled with festive cheer and joyful laughter everywhere.
I walk alone on the streets, not wanting to be by myself. For years, I’ve been alone.
I crave warmth. If I can’t find it with family, I seek it from strangers.
I visit shopping malls, amusement parks, and any place bustling with people.
I observe strangers and their warm smiles, even though those smiles aren’t directed at me.
I watch the twinkling lights of homes and imagine the happiness shared by families
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gathered around them.
I peer through the glass windows of restaurants, watching families huddled together, enjoying the warmth and laughter.
Suddenly, I feel a chill on my forehead. It’s
snowing.
Snowflakes drift around me.
I long to share a meal with family on such snowy days, but those are the family members. of my imagination, not reality.
I pull my coat tighter and continue walking through the festive streets.
As the crowds thin and the clock strikes past one in the morning, I still seek company.
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I head to a bar, sit at the counter, sip my drink, and quietly watch the lively crowd on the dance
floor.
As the bar grew quieter, the atmosphere turned cold and desolate.
Everyone else must be at family gatherings now.
Sitting alone at the bar, I lit a cigarette and took a drag.
The cigarette was extinguished by Noel.
“Go home. It’s Christmas Eve. A family should be together.”
He didn’t look at me, his tone as indifferent as
ever.
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I drank from my glass, not meeting his gaze, and said slowly, “You haven’t let me come home to celebrate in years.”
“Are you bringing me back because of Lydia?”
“Because her blood supply no longer accepts its fate. What if she refuses to donate to Lydia?”
“Better to offer some semblance of family affection.”
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I tilted my head back, holding back tears, then looked at him with a forced smile.
“But sorry, I don’t need it.”
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He listened quietly, then said, almost weightlessly, “Have you said enough? If so, come back with me. The family is waiting for
you.”
His phone rang, and Lydia’s voice, full of warmth and familiarity, filled the call with a comforting
presence.
“Noel, please promise me you’ll bring Elena back. She’s alone out there, it’s so pitiful…”
Lydia’s weak coughing echoed through the phone.
“Got it. Don’t worry.”
When he spoke to Lydia, his voice held warmth.
But when he looked at me, his eyes were icy
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cold.
I ignored him and turned to leave, but he grabbed my arm.
“Don’t touch me!”
I slammed my glass onto the bar, grabbing a shard and slashing it towards him. The shard cut a gash on his face.
My own hand was soon covered in blood.
He took the shard from me, gripping it tightly, blood dripping onto the floor.
As I watched the red stains spreading on the ground, I felt disoriented
I remembered a time when I was bullied, and
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Noel had stood up for me. His head had been broken, blood spilling everywhere.
He had once been a gentle brother, but he had given that gentleness to Lydia.
Noel, with his bloodied hand, pulled me out of
the bar.
I didn’t resist; I was too exhausted to fight back.
As we approached home, I saw Lydia waiting downstairs, dressed in slippers and a thin sweater, shivering in the cold.
Noel, spotting her, slammed the car to a stop. My head hit the seat hard.
Before I could react, Noel had gotten out, slammed the car door, and wrapped his coat
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around Lydia.
Her face was a mix of white and red from the cold, and she looked up at Noel with a sweet,
innocent smile.
Only those who are loved can smile like that.
Wrapped in Noel’s coat, Lydia was still shivering and curled up in his embrace.
She threw a defiant glance my way.