Unspoken Pleasure

Brian went straight to a nearby cooler that was resting on the floor. He knelt down and grabbed a bottle of beer, cracking it open before handing it to me. I turned to hand it back to Jesse, but he was gone. I supposed he'd dropped away at some point on the journey over. I guess I was supposed to wonder about him, but honestly, I was glad my greasy shadow was gone.

"See? I told you," Brian said, clinking his own beer with mine. "Nice, right?"ConTEent bel0ngs to Nôv(e)lD/rama(.)Org .

"It's a lot," I said.

"Hell yeah!" Brian said, clapping me on the back.

"Won't the neighbors complain about the noise?" I asked.

"Are you kidding? They're all here, too," Brian said, pointing around the room.

We stayed in the kitchen, drinking and doing our best to talk over the cacophony. Brian plied me with beers, and we talked about work stuff. When that topic ran out, we moved to sports. We didn't have much else to say to each other, and it was a stark reminder of how surface-level our friendship was. Like a particularly fickle houseplant, it withered once it was out of its narrow comfort zone.

On the other hand, standing next to Brian was like getting to share the spotlight with a celebrity. Everyone who came by had to say hello and chat for a bit. I got the standard guy nod from a whole town's worth of people: businessmen, cops, politicians. All of whom seemed to know Brian and want a minute of his time. And, since I was standing next to the prince of the party, all assumed that I must be important, as well.

But when I finished my fourth beer, reality finally set in. Like I was shaken out of a dream, I blinked back to consciousness and realized that I'd been standing in the kitchen for almost an hour, and I hadn't seen Kate. The house was pretty big, sure, but Vanessa's tour couldn't be taking that long.

Hurriedly, I told Brian I was going to go find my wife. He gave me a knowing nod, then raised his beer at me before he was quickly pulled into about four other conversations. The man was the life of the party, and it was hard not to be envious of him.

That feeling was mostly overwhelmed, however, by my worry about Kate. I reminded myself that she was a big girl who could take care of herself. But she'd seemed super nervous going in and I couldn't help but feel like I was letting her down.

I fought my way back into the living room, assuming I'd find Kate there since that's where almost everyone else was. Instead, however, I immediately noticed another familiar face: Tara.

My cute, redhead sister-in-law was sitting by herself on the couch, idly holding a half-empty beer bottle in her hand and staring off to nothingness. Tara must have been pretty out of it, because she didn't seem to notice me until I sat down next to her. Finally, she turned my way, gave me a tight, pained smile, and clinked my beer.

"Have you seen Kate?" I asked her.

Tara shook her head. "I think she's still getting the grand tour. How many bedrooms does one house need, seriously? I told them I needed to use the bathroom and snuck back down here."

"How are you?" I asked. We practically had to shout to hear each other, so instead we moved closer, till we were both nearly whispering in each other's ears. It felt almost intimate. Like we were a couple, getting ready to canoodle on the couch. Being so close to Tara -- smelling her strawberry hair, seeing the tiny freckles on her neck -- it exacerbated my already underlying desire for her. I let myself be slowly swallowed up in her presence.

"I'm fine," Tara said, flatly. I gave her a knowing look and she took a deep breath. "Kate told you about the whole 'sharing' thing, huh?"

"No secrets between husband and wife," I said.

"Or siblings," Tara said.

"No doubt," I agreed, "You know Kate's not being mean or judging. She's legit worried about you."

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"And you?" Tara asked. For some reason, the question struck me strangely.

"I want you to be happy," I said, "That's the only thing that matters to me."

"Jesse makes me happy," Tara said, "Sometimes."

"But maybe not happy enough," I said. Not a question.

"Well, we can't all marry Prince Charming," Tara said. She slugged my shoulder, playfully.

I looked around, like maybe this handsome gentleman that Tara was talking about was standing behind me.

"Oh, come off it," Tara said.

"Seriously?" I said, legitimately surprised. Being silly aside, I truly didn't think Tara could mean me.

"You really don't see it?" Tara said, "You're amazing. I see the way you take care of Kate, how much you love her, and I get so jealous. You're funny and fun. It doesn't help that you're really fucking handsome." She paused. "Sorry. I may have had a little too much to drink."

"It's OK," I said, now even more aware of how close the both of us were on the couch. I felt my erection fill my pants and it was both wonderfully welcome and excruciatingly embarrassing. "More than OK. I guess I still see myself as the awkward guy. Too little up here," I stroked my hair, "Too much down here," I rubbed my stomach.

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"Not even close," Tara said, "When we first met, maybe? But sometime in your twenties you, like, blossomed. I can't think of another word for it."

I smiled to myself -- that was exactly how I'd described Kate earlier. Maybe both of us had grown into something more. I didn't see it in myself because I was too busy being entranced by my wife's transformation. "Well, if you're that drunk, I guess I can confess," I said, "I've always had a bit of a crush on you."

Tara blushed.

"You're always outgoing and energetic," I said, "I guess that's why it weirds me out that you've been so quiet today."

"What Jesse said? It really hurt. We've been married for less than two years, and he's already bored with me. It sucks," Tara said, kicking her skinny legs out like a pouty little girl.

"I get that," I said, "The hurt part. Not being bored. Not with you."

"Thanks," Tara said, perfunctorily, "The way he keeps trying to explain it, I don't know. sometimes I think maybe he's right and I'm the one that's twisted. Like he says, it's only sex, right? I mean, do you and Kate ever..." "No," I said, "Whatever you were going to ask about sex, the answer is no."