Ex-Husband's Regret

Ava

"How you doing? mom asks through the phone. “And how are the baby and Noah?

Once again they were out of the country for a business meeting. It didn’t come as a surprise to me that they had their own private jet since Rowan did too. He had his own and there was also a family one. I have never used his. Never been inside it. Probably because we rarely went to any trips together.

When my wealth rose to great heights, I thought of buying a jet of my own, but I quickly shot the idea down. What the hell would I use it for? I rarely went anywhere that will necessitate me needing one of my own. If I had to go somewhere, I usually hired one or I’d just fly business class.

“Ava?

“Sorry mom. We’re all doing well. We just miss you guys so much”

And it was true. They’ve been gone for a week and they’ll be away for another week. Noah and I missed them like crazy. It’s surprising how they’ve become such a big part of our lives in such a short time,

“We miss you too. Your dad says hi by the way. He said he’ll talk to you in the evening when he isn’t so busy” 

“That’s all right”

“So, have you bought anything new for the b

our months isn’t long. Soon he or she will be here” just as always, excitement rings in her voice when she talks about the baby.

“How am I supposed to buy anything when everyone around me already has? This baby will have more than in enough and a lot to choose from” I laugh.

The baby’s room was full of stuff. I thought that mom, dad, Letty and Corrine were bad. That was before Reaper came into the picture.

He has been sending cute little gifts since I allowed him to be part of his or her life. I don’t even get when or where he goes shopping when he is in hiding. Everything he has bought is in color pink. Just like with Noah and Ethan, he also believes that it will be a baby girl.

My smile falls as soon as thoughts of him pass through my mind. I know I promised him, but I not have gotten along with Father, but he still raised me.

I can’t wait for the baby to be bom. I missed Noah’s birth so I’m making up with this baby” her voice pulls me from my black thoughts. 

Can I call you back mom? I was meeting up with Letty and Corrine for a lunch date and I see them pulling up 

It probably wasn’t them, but my mood had already been shot down to hell.

“Sure. Talk to you later. I love you Ava” 

I love you too mom” I say, then hang up the phone.

I sigh as I place my phone down at the table. The moment I do that, my conflicting thoughts immediately attack. 

Father wasn’t the only issue associated with Reaper. There was also Rowan. Sure, he wasn’t my favorite person, but he was Noah’s father. Reaper was hell bent on revenge and losing Rowan would destroy Noah.

There was also the likelihood that he would go after those Rowan loved. Noah loved the same people, well except for Emma that is. I just didn’t know what to do because part of me felt like I had made a mistake giving him a chance. The other part just told me to trust my instincts and my instincts told me it was the right move. 

“What are you thinking so hard about?” Corrine’s voice startles me.

“Fuck, you scared me” I put my hand on my as if that would slow down my beating hard.

“Sorry. I thought you saw me coming in” she says looking sheepish.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I hadn’t realized that they had entered the private booth.

“It’s okay…I just have a lot on mind”

“Care to share?” Letty asks, taking her seat.

I shake my head. “Not really” 

It’s not that I didn’t want to share, it’s just that I didn’t know how to. How do I even begin telling them that the criminal everyone is tirelessly searching for is my baby’s uncle? Or that we have been in contact and as if that wasn’t worse I permitted him to be in my baby’s life?

Does this have to do with Rowan again?” Letty leans forward. Her eyes sparkling for some odd reason. Travis said that Rowan called him a few days ago and he was butt drunk”

I frown at that. I can’t remember the last time Rowan got drunk. He stopped drinking too much after Ncan was born. Plus he’s gone radio silent since that night he showed up unexpectedly at my house. 

I still can’t believe that I punched him. It felt good because I’ve wanted to do that for a long time.

“Why was he drunk?” Corrine asks, seeming curious.

Letty shrugs her shoulders as she answers. “Neither Travis or I know, but I bet Gabe knows and I double bet that Ava has an idea❞ 

They both turn to look at me expectantly. I shift uncomfortably on my chair. 

“Spill it, Ava” Letty commands.

“Honestly, I don’t know anything. The last time I saw him, he turned up unexpectedly at my house at night. His behavior was odd so I asked him to leave”

“Describe odd?” Corrine pushes.

“He got jealous when Noah mentioned that Re-” I catch myself before I can say his name. “Noah mentioned something about suitors and he went ballistic saying I belonged to him and he wasn’t going to allow me to whore myself to other men”

I still get pissed when I remember his words. Like what the hell was wrong with him? I belonged to him? Since when? Plus I am not a F***ing object. I am a human being.

“Ooh, so possessive. I never thought I would see the day when Rowan becomes possessive towards you” Letty says all dreamy. 

I just look at her like she was losing her grip on reality.

“You can’t be serious, Letty. This is Rowan we are talking about. The same man that told me over and over again that I meant nothing to him. That he would never love me because he hates my

F***ing guts”

The pain I used to feel was mainly replaced by anger. All the heartbreak I went through and all for what? He is still a thorn on my side.

“I honestly think he has come to the realization that he wants you. Why do you think he wants to

“Even if that’s true, which I highly doubt, it doesn’t matter It’s a little too late. I gave him countless opportunities during the nine years we were married and he wasted them all. He gave me nothing return except pain. I just don’t see things the way you guys do”

They’re quiet Both staring at me like they want to say something, but don’t know how. For now, all I want is to let this Rowan issue go. I don’t want to think about him or his sudden change in behavior. I already had too much on my plate without adding him to the mix.

“Look, I know you guys want to see me happy and for some reason you think I’ll find that happiness with Rowan, but you’re wrong. Our relationship was doomed from the moment we said ‘ I do‘ years ago. We are toxic for each other. I loved him and hated him at the same time while he only hated me. I tried transforming myself into something I’m not just so he would love me and that didn’t work. Even if I were to try now, it wouldn’t work. The love I had for him is buried under tons of pain, heartbreak, resentment and bitterness. So please I beg you, let’s just let this issue go okay?” 

You can’t force the heart to want something it doesn’t. That’s what Corrine and Letty were trying to do. Force feelings that didn’t exist. They want me to get my fairytale ending and they believe that will only happen with Rowan. Why couldn’t they understand that just because they want him to love me doesn’t make it a reality?

Sure, Rowan was acting differently, but I believe it’s just a phase. Men like what they can’t have. He wants me now because he can’t have me. Soon enough he’ll get bored of the chase and go back to his true love. If I give in I’ll be left in another load of heartbreak after he realizes I am not what he wants.

“Let’s just focus on what we came here for them after silence descends on us.."

“Alright” Corrine replies.

“Fine” Letty grumbles.

I sigh in relief. Happy they were willing to let it go for now. I know Letty will look for an opportunity to bring it up again, but I’ll deal with it when she does.

“Can we go to an ice cream shop or something? For some reason this fancy ass place is getting on my nerves with all the snobbish waiters and waitresses” Letty says out of nowhere.

“We could go to my restaurant” Corrine adds.

I don’t know why they didn’t think of that in the first place. Instead of saying anything, I keep quiet

“Nah. Have you ever been to an ice cream shop or a fast food restaurant?” Letty turns to face

Comine whose eyes shift nervously.

She shakes her head. “Not really” 

“Great Today is your lucky day. We’ll have lunch at a fast food restaurant then have a froyo or ice cream at an ice cream shop, then we’ll head to your office to discuss our business progress so far” 

I smile at the deer caught in headlights look that Corrine has plastered on her face. It’s time we introduce her to the normal world. Which in my opinion is way better than the stuck up people who surround us.

Letty pulls Corrine up, while I stand up.

“What if I get food poisoning? I heard that such restaurants aren’t entirely hygienic when they handle food.” Corrine complains as she tries to wiggle out of Letty’s grasp.This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

“So what? You’ll get a bad case of diarrhea and after a few days of pooping your intestines off, you’ll be good to go. Trust me. This fancy stuff has nothing on greasy food” Letty answers.

Laughing, I walk behind them as I listen to their banter. It was so refreshing.

I was contemplating on how thankful I am for having such friends, when her bitter voice kills every single joy I was feeling.

“Look what we have here? It’s the pregnant whore”

I turn to my side to find Christine staring at me with nothing but hatred in her eyes. As if that wasn’t enough, Emma was standing right next to her. 

I close my eyes and let out a breath while wondering why the hell did god hate me so much.