Unspoken Pleasure

She looked away, but not before I noticed she was blushing, which was definitely a first.

“Are you blushing?”

“No! I’m hot!” She removed her hat and wiped her forehead.

“Nah, just cute, remember?” I joked.

“Trust me, Justin, I know I’m not hot.” She sounded irritable.

“Hey! I was kidding!”

“But Jen is, and for what it’s worth? I never thought you’d be the kind of guy to go for just that.”

“I like her for other reasons.”

“Yeah, the two big ones hanging out of her shirt. You’re different around her, Justin. When you’re with me and Jim and the rest of our friends, you’re you, and when you’re with her, you’re … a conceited jerk.”

“I am not!”

“Whatever.” Sam stood up. “The point I was getting at was even though you’re good-looking and popular, you’re a sweet guy, and that’s pretty rare at our age. That’s the best part about you, and that’s why you deserve better. Jen is just a shallow bitch.”

“You’re more than that and deserve more. Now, I’ve told you how I feel and you don’t really care, but at least I said it. Hope you have fun tomorrow.” She grabbed the bag and turned away from me, ending the conversation.

I thought about defending myself, but why bother? Once Sam dug in, nothing changed her mind. She’d made a good point about how I really cared about Jen, but I wasn’t about to cancel tomorrow. By her own admission Sam hadn’t been gung-ho over the guys she had been with. She was fine with it. Why shouldn’t I be?

For the next half hour, we moved about the bushes and trees in silence except for the sounds of bottles and cans clinking together. I felt like an ass. Sam was helping me out and I had treated her like crap. Granted, she had been badgering me, but what else was new?

In my mind, I heard my mother’s voice and one of her famous overused lines, ‘If it bothers you, it’s because the truth hurts.’ Mentally telling my mother to shut up, I glanced up from the bushes, relieved to see we had almost reached the end of the small stand of trees that bordered one side of the playground.

“Hey,” Sam called out, “looks like I earned that movie after all.”

“I told you I was treating for you helping,” I told her, glad she had spoken and still wanting to keep up our movie tradition.

“Doesn’t matter, I’d win the gross-out anyway.”

Turning around, I watched her pick up a stick and poke at something in the grass.

“What is it, something dead?”

“No, but not only pretty gross, but very fitting. Here!”

Sam flicked the stick towards me and something landed at my feet. I looked down to see a condom, an obviously used condom.

“That is nasty! Why is it ironic? Because I’ll need some for tomorrow?”

“No, because it’s just like you, used.”

“Real nice, Sam.” I forced myself to not raise my voice. “Why do you keep saying that?”

“Because it’s obvious, Justin, and I can see what’s right in front of me.”

Before I could respond, she released a long sigh. “Too bad you can’t see what’s right in front of you.”

* * * * *

I lay on the couch dozing on and off while the Sox were getting their asses handed to them by the Blue Jays. It was only eight thirty, but after spending hours in the sun cleaning the parks, I was exhausted.

When Sam and I finished Carson’s, she had asked where I was off to. Knowing I was going to hear about it, I told her Jen had asked me to clean up the other playground. Sam gave me a ‘what a sap’ look, but to my surprise offered to help.

The park was pretty small. Because it was in the middle of a neighborhood, it wasn’t the drinking, partying hangout Carson’s was and only took us an hour. After that, I treated Sam to a sundae at Dairy Queen and then dropped her off at her house.

Her mother was on the porch and invited me in, but I told her I needed to go home and shower. Fact was, in addition to being hot and tired, Sam’s older sister Brenda was there, and she rode me about Jen even harder than Sam did. In fact, since I’d been with Jen, Brenda, whom I’d always gotten along well with, had been downright rude to me most of the time.

I got home just before Bill picked Mom up and was happy to see how excited she was to be going away. She asked for the hundredth time if I was comfortable with her being with Bill and I told her I was thrilled for her.

That was no lie. My father was an asshole who my mother wasted way too many years with, and I was sure a lot of that time was for my sake. Bill was a good guy who seemed to go out of his way to do all the little things for Mom that Dad never did. For the most part he was the opposite of my prick father, which made him okay in my book.

In the span of the half hour we were home together, Mom asked several times if I was seeing Jen. I was pretty sure she suspected I was glad she was going away for reasons other than her happiness. That suspicion was confirmed when Mom hugged me goodbye and said,

“I’m proud of you, Justin. You’re only eighteen but more of a man than your father ever was. He was already a dog in heat by your age. I don’t know what I was thinking when I married him. But you’re not like him, and I’m sure Jen sees that and knows how special you are.” She paused and with a sly smile added, “I think you’ve proved yourself a good man. Maybe it’s time you were rewarded for it.”

After she left, I did a few things around the house she’d asked me to do to get them out of the way, showered, and threw on a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I figured I would just chill tonight and watch some TV. Lying there, I replayed Mom’s words and couldn’t help smiling.

I had no doubt that was Mom’s green light to go for it, without being awkward about it. Her words had put me in a better mood. Because of my father’s bullshit, I had promised Mom that I would be better and hold to values he never had, but she had officially let me off the hook.

Not that I wouldn’t have had Jen over tomorrow anyway, but Mom giving me her blessing removed any feelings that I wasn’t doing the right thing.Belonging to NôvelDrama.Org.

She was right. I had earned it, sitting home whacking off while all my friends had already been getting laid and having fun. Even Sam, the indifferent tomboy who didn’t give a rat’s ass what she looked like or what people thought of her, had found guys to mess around with.

I frowned at that last thought. It wasn’t a good one, especially seeing how good a friend Sam was. I’d never once thought I was better than her or anyone else, but that was what it felt like. It also sounded like something Jen would say when making fun of other people, which she did frequently.

Sam had made that remark today, that I was different around-

I jumped when my cell rang from the coffee table in front of me. Grabbing it, I saw it was Jim, who after Sam was pretty much my closest friend.

“Hey, what’s up?” I answered. “You got nothing better to do on a Saturday night besides calling a guy?”

“Hey, Justin.” He didn’t sound happy. “Hey, man, I need to talk to you.”

“What about? I-” I stopped when I heard several people laughing and yelling in the background. “Where are you?”

“I’m at Mackerel Cove in Jamestown.”

“Mackerel Cove? Hey, Jen was up there today.”

“She still is. That’s why I called you.”

“What’s going on?” I sat up on the couch.

“Look, Justin, this really sucks for me because you know you’re my bud, but I’d be an asshole if I didn’t say anything.”

“About what?” I felt my stomach tighten. “What’s going on?”

“Me and Josh ran into Jen and her friends up here when they were cleaning. She said if we helped out we could hang out with them at her uncle’s house on the beach, and party. So that’s where we are now and … Justin, you know Rob is up here, right?”

“I …” I took a deep breath. “Jim, get to the point.”

“Point is, Jen was drinking from the time we got to the house at five and she was out of control. Hanging on all the guys, dancing around. Shit, she took her top off at one point.”

“Jim, are you fucking with me?” Even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer, I had to ask.

“Justin, we’ve been friends since fourth grade. You think I’d joke about this?”

“No, I …” I swallowed hard. “What about Rob?”

“Well, after she pretty much cock teased most of the guys there with some bumping and grinding. She pretty much gave him a damn lap dance, then grabbed a bottle of Captain someone brought, and the two of them went into the house.”